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July 31, 2006 | by  | in News | [ssba]

Adventures in baby killing

LAST WEEK’S VUWSA exec meeting began 26 minutes late, with Women’s Rights Officer Caroline Prendergast alleging that the absence of President Nick Kelly and Education Vice-President Joel Cosgrove was because they were masturbating in Kelly’s office. She was wrong, in so many ways.

I ignored warnings that the meeting would be boring and that I could leave early if I wanted, and endured the profanity, arguments over pizza tokens, and unfortunate facial hair (not my own) which dominated the two-and-a-half hour meeting.

A new-look Cosgrove had traded his army helmet for beard-topiary, a trend not likely to catch on around campus (one would hope). His beard was manicured to read “FUCK YOU”, a bold statement that he claims, “externalizes how I feel inside”. Cosgrove’s report was the most invigorating part of the meeting, with his ‘font-of-the-week’ (“Adventure”) detailing that he spent last week soliciting class reps and helping out on Clubs Day with his “labouring skills”. And, of course, his skills with the mechanical bull.

Towards the end of the meeting, Cosgrove produced a nomination for the current VUWSA by-election that had apparently been missed by the Returning Officer when emptying the nominations box over a week earlier. Kelly, appearing quite harassed at this point, dismissed the importance of the discovery, saying that the nominee obviously didn’t care a great deal about being left off the voting form as they were yet to come forward.

However, the situation was later cleared up when it was revealed that the nomination was not only late, but had failed to provide the required information.

Cosgrove’s big aspirations for the EVP role are questionable after only two class reps attended training sessions last week, which he admits was due to him not telling anyone they were taking place. The effectiveness of using posters to advertise training sessions was debated briefly, with Welfare Vice-President Jules van Cruysen claiming that well-designed posters could “make people want to kill babies”.

The exec passed several motions. They decided to give the Victoria Broadcasting Club $40 to register, that food would no longer be provided at exec meetings, that Vic students oppose a domestic students’ fee-increase, that Treasurer Hu Jia would receive a $450 performance bonus, and, most importantly, that Kelly would write a sarcastic letter congratulating Canterbury University Vice-Chancellor Roy Sharp on the transparency of their fee-setting scheme (which is pretty transparent, after Canterbury students were given four days notice of changes to fees).

Something I found concerning during the meeting was how little input there was from some Exec members, and that despite myself having voted in every election and by-election that I could have, I didn’t know who the majority of these people were. It made me wonder if, like me, students are electing candidates because they’ve heard their name somewhere before (with Gareth Robinson as an exception), and whether the exec is being made accountable to students when they contribute so little to meetings. Regardless of whether students take an interest in student politics, we pay these people (admittedly not very much, but the principle remains) to represent us, and last week’s exec meeting forced me to question if we’re getting our money’s worth.

Highlight: Being made to leave the room for ten minutes for making Delia Timms feel “uncomfortable”. Although this was due to a top-secret committee and not my frightening appearance, Kelly was forced to apologise on the exec’s behalf, as the Salient charter states that the reporter may remain in the room as long as the contents of the committee are not reported. Apparently once I left they all started pissing on each other or something.

Lowlight: Witnessing Timms stroking CJ Hunt’s thigh under the table. Err.


About the Author ()

With her take-no-prisoners, kick-ass attitude, former News Editor Laura McQuillan adequately makes up for her lack of stature. Roaming the corridors (and underground tunnels) of the University by day, and hunting vampires and Nazi war criminals by night, McQuillan will stop at nothing to bring you the freshest news.

Comments (15)

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  1. blogetee says:

    delia timms is with CJ Hunt?

  2. Delia says:

    yes I am. And have been for quite some time now. 8 months to the day to be exect. As for what you and others may have heard about me and that pregnancy stuff its a load of shite. I am a hardworking normal person who deserves some privacy. I do not chase guy and never have and am in a stable and very happy realtionship. We both realise that shite like this will happen so it doesnt effect us, in fact I personally find it quite funny now, Granted that were any other person having lies spread about them they wouldnt like it either. Now that this is out it would be nice if people realised that those rumours were untrue and spread by old school aquaintances and that we are people just like the reat of you, and just coz we are in the spotlight for another 5 or so weeks doesnt mean anyone can hound us. Come next year you will find some ther poor new person to defame. I have been bought up better than that and it is not in my nature.

  3. Jono Newton says:

    ok Delia, you need to calm the F%$# Down and just get on with it and realise that as part of all this “High-powered fame” you are going to get some bad press deal with it, how bout instead of having a rant on here you get your arse into the VUWSA offices and actually do some work, and going to conference and doing a bread run doesn’t count, oh and try and write your own weekly report…it helps…

  4. Delia says:

    we do joint reports. cheers for that sound advice tho

  5. Jono Newton says:

    joint reports?? never heard of them….. its ok for 2 exec members to submit their reports together??? since when…

  6. Delia says:

    we ahve always done it – owing to our environmental policies. two reports to a page is better environmentally. There has only been one time when i did not type my own. also as to my work at vuwsa u wud hardly have any idea and its not your place to comment. I work based at pipitea and home owing to what has gone on in the workroom in the past and I prefer the peace of pipitea with no one to bitch at me. I am currently composing a motor cycle proposal and winter savings which are going ok. I man the office outside of hours there and issue bus tickets and help with student enquiries. Maybe you’d like to show your face there at somepoint? I dont see your work just as you don’t see mine. Check things out b4 commenting on them next time. That goes to everyone who sits at kelburn 24/7 and doesnt actually bother to check their claims b4 making them

  7. CJ Hunt says:

    It is true, Timms stroked me during meeting. Is love not allowed to flourish in the annexs of power? I am a lady lady lady la de da I must be stroked pur pur

    Love poem to Timms
    by CJ

    A cunt for Hunt,
    What a tasty munt!
    but when Tims gives Rims
    my bloomers do brim;
    Brown’s more fun
    When there’s business to be done.

  8. Delia says:

    Hunty you promised not to tell our secrets names, Cunt and Rimms…

  9. Jono Newton says:

    haha I never said I didn’t see you working but what I saw was your report for 4 weeks worth of work which included 2 items one of which didn’t count to your 10 hours and was not even written by you this is not right and you don’t need to see my work I am nothing except a volunteer for EAG and a bit of a rampant commentator and protestor if you think I don’t do anything thats your choice but technically I don’t have to do anything. you were voted into your position you have to be accountable to the students who voted you in…this is part of your job……If you can’t do it then don’t….And I do know what goes on. I am around a substanial amount of time and I have contacts in the Pipitea office as well if you think I know nothing….Where were the exec at the Student Forum on fees…right now I am expecting to only see 3 or 4 exec at Fee setting which is atrocious….

  10. bloggette says:

    fight! fight! fight!
    let the muppets battle it out!!!!

  11. Delia says:

    It was 2 weeks of work. Btw the love the poem whoever wrote that :)
    very nicely done.

  12. Francziskas says:

    Hey – layoff the lovebirds. I’m sure they make up for the lack of work they do at VUWSA by putting in the hard yards in the bedroom….Since we are writing romantic poetry, I thought I’d try my hand at a bit of literary brilliance.


    There once was a woman called Delia
    To CJ, she said “Can I feel-ya?”
    With a hiss and a shunt, Hunt pummelled that cunt
    Never once was an orgasm squealier

  13. Clelia Opie says:

    LMAO – that poem’s hilarious!

  14. Superior Mind says:

    Wow, I believe in the biz they call that a necro-post.

  15. anarchism says:

    Obviously had difficulty in pleasuring her correctly hehe:)

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