VUWSA Sports and Cultural Clubs Council Chairperson Gareth Robinson drops three points this week for falsely calling himself President” of said councils in his email signature. The comprehensive signature lists his several positions, even giving details of when he will have cell phone coverage.

Education Vice-President Joel Cosgrove dropped five points upon the market opening for obviously having so little to do that he noticed such a thing, but soon regained three of those points, after satirically amending his own email signature to read “captain of the champion water bomb team 1997”.

President Nick Kelly drops two points for attempting to call the episode to the attention of Salient by emailing it to us. Salient also loses points for taking the bait. While there was a general downturn this week, law lecturers Claudia Geiringer, Grant Morris and Caroline Morris escaped unharmed, rising seven points each for allowing themselves to be put in a cage for a good cause.

Chairperson of the University Council’s Finance Committee of the University Council also rises this week, after displaying his spectacular power point skills at the fees forum last Tuesday.