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March 12, 2007 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Latest hippy bandwagons:

  1. Breatharianism (a diet of light)
  2. Save the (Komodo) Dragons
  3. Knitting your own organic pottery
  4. “Legalize Heroin… man”
  5. Hunting carbon dinosaur footprints with recyclable boomerangs

Inappropriate Periods:

  1. Doing a Roly-Poly with white gym shorts on
  2. Hitting the high note during the National Anthem
  3. Born again baptism
  4. Performing naked interpretive dance
  5. If you’re a man

Ways to get out of an arranged marriage:

  1. Spend all your dowry money on pie… mmm pie
  2. Go dyslexic. That way, things tend to de-arrange themselves
  3. Start an anarchist revolution. Then no-one will ever marry, ever again
  4. Run away and join the VUWSA
  5. Why would you want to get out of an arranged marriage?

Comebacks:

  1. Al Gore
  2. John Travolta
  3. Kylie Minogue
  4. Batman Begins
  5. The Black Caps

Rock ‘n Roll Cliches:

  1. Dying at 27
  2. That ‘difficult’ third album
  3. Sex with groupies. It’s like shoplifting from a store in which you work
  4. Make a reality TV show when your music gets too old
  5. Auto-erotic asphyxiation

Mathematical Turn-ons:

  1. The Pythagoras Theorem (‘cos it involves 3 sums)
  2. Feigenbaum Sequences (it’s like, the onset of Chaos)
  3. Godel’s Theorum (‘cos it sounds Russian)
  4. Zero (it’s got a hole in it)
  5. 69…

Disappointments:

  1. Halley’s Comet
  2. Cherry Cola
  3. The Matrix sequels
  4. The Third Way
  5. This week’s Top Fives
[ssba]

About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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