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April 30, 2007 | by  | in News | [ssba]

Eye on Exec

At a recent Aoteroa Student Press Association (ASPA) conference of student media types like myself, other writers expressed their jealousy of the endless abundance of material the VUWSA exec provides for Eye On Exec.

The news editor of Otago University’s student magazine Critic said in an email last week: “Critic’s news team has watched in awe this year as the VUSWA exec has provided Salient with much insanely entertaining journalistic gold, but suspects it is not so great for the health of the Association. Our exec just do boring stuff…like competently doing their job.”

The ASPA crew were shocked to see photos of Welfare Vice-President Heleyni Pratley’s ‘Lovely’ wall art and reading of Clubs Officer Melissa Barnard telling Activities Officer Bernard-Bernard Galaxy that she hopes he fucking dies.

So far this year the VUWSA exec has lost three exec members, Education Officer Chris Renwick, who resigned a few weeks ago to do more homework, elected Women’s Rights Officer Amy Mitchell, who resigned before the University year began, and her replacement, Clelia Opie, who Salient last week reported was ‘fired’ for making $4176.84 worth of phone calls to psychic hotlines.

VUWSA Treasurer Alexander Neilson has since informed Salient that some of the phone calls were to “taro hotlines”, which we assume fill a niche in the popular market for Polynesian cuisine tips at between $3.99 and $4.99 per minute.

The exec succeeded last week in having what the University calls an “Other Hold” placed on Opie’s student account, meaning that she couldn’t add or change courses or graduate until the money was repaid to VUWSA. However, a few days later the hold was removed, with the Student Fees Coordinator telling Neilson, “We are not allowed to apply holds for issues relating to VUWSA. Apparently it must be for University issues only.”

Neilson told Salient he’d give us a comment after class but never showed up.

Also in exec news this week: Environmental Officer Tushara Kodikara sent an angry email to the exec stating that “Joel is just a dick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” after the barbecue booked by campus environmental group Gecko was at Education Vice-President Joel Cosgrove’s house for ‘cleaning’ (read: Satanic ritual) when they needed it for lentil burgering. Cosgrove has since apologized and the exec may or may not reimburse Gecko for $120 of lentils.

Less-dysfunctional students’ associations and publications nationwide will be relieved to know that a solution is in sight thanks to Queer Rights Officer Rachael Wright.

Wright has proposed that VUWSA ask the Student Union nicely to fashion them some stocks (those wooden planky things that people’s arms and heads were put in for punishment in mediaeval times) to be put in the Quad, and from 11am ‘til 2pm the day after an exec member pisses someone off, they will be put in the stocks to have pies thrown at them.

One of the main outcomes of the ASPA conference was the possibility of battling students’ associations’ execs to figure out which one is the weirdest. As we go to print, I think I can safely say VUWSA takes the cake this year. Top effort team!


About the Author ()

With her take-no-prisoners, kick-ass attitude, former News Editor Laura McQuillan adequately makes up for her lack of stature. Roaming the corridors (and underground tunnels) of the University by day, and hunting vampires and Nazi war criminals by night, McQuillan will stop at nothing to bring you the freshest news.

Comments (3)

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  1. Curious says:

    Hey Clelia. I know you’re reading this. I want you to tell us – the students who might be footing the bill for your indiscretions – what was worth $4000 in phonecalls, losing your job, and getting kicked out of a couple of flats? We’re you being given messages from your alien cousin in sector 6? Or we’re you just continually being promised next weeks lotto numbers??? Nah, seriously, I don’t think anyone is that dumb. I’d just really like to know how they hooked you in. Surely you owe us students that much?

  2. Jono Newton says:

    Well here is a great story for the students. anyone who thinks that the five exec members should be named, start sending emails to

    I am sure Geoff would love to recieve them, and I also think that all 5 members should be stood down….

    This is disgraceful, VUWSA has had some muppets there in there time but this tops it all.

  3. “I am sure Geoff would love to recieve them, and I also think that all 5 members should be stood down”

    Stood down? They were elected, not appointed – they have a mandate. No-one has the power stand them down.

    If students have changed their minds about the mandates of a whole bunch of the VUWSA exec then the following is their only option:

    “We, the undersigned 10 members of the Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association (VUWSA), in accordance with PART II, s 3.2 of the VUWSA Constitution, require that a Special General Meeting (SGM) of the VUWSA be held to discuss the following motion:

    “THAT we have no confidence in the VUWSA Executive and demand its resignation.”

    And that if that motion passes in accordance with PART III, s 5.3 of the VUWSA Constitution, the SGM also approve a temporary executive under Part III, s 6.6 of the VUWSA Constitution to continue in office until a full election can be held.

    [insert names and signatures of ten VUWSA members here]”

    I’d note that those members of the exec whom people remain happy with could be appointed to the interim exec (indeed, this would be the historic practice), and all would be allowed to stand in any new election.

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