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April 23, 2007 | by  | in Music | [ssba]

Phat Moon

Inanagua, April 6-8

Phat 07 ended with detrimental feedback due to management, facility and site problems. Phat Moon – a two day dance party from the 6th to 8th of April – at the same site (Inanagua, on the West Coast in the South Island) was thrown as a bid to restore the punters’ faith in the parties and to test out the new facilities.

These new facilities – namely the flushable toilets – appeared to be the focal point of the whole party. While they were a grand achievement for outdoor dance parties and Phat Club history, they actually stopped working by about 11pm.

Situated on the West Coast, Phat Moon delivered a completely different atmosphere and crowd to that of the many parties Phat has put on at Canaan Downs in Takaka and the Maitai Valley (near Nelson). Usually, the dance floor is packed with ecstatic and familiar faces, zinged up on their drug(s) of choice. A sense of party solidarity is felt by all. Not so for this party.

Sinister looking, hoodie-clad boy racers; crazy West Coasters; under-age and under-dressed girls and Christchurch clubbers seemed to make up the majority of punters. My fellow Nelsonians and Motuekians and I were feeling slightly outnumbered and out of place.

Luckily, the music semi-compensated for what the atmosphere lacked. While the party was about the toilets, the music seemed to be about busting out 90’s chart topping tracks.

Kora, who started off the night, pulled most to the dance floor with their eclectic and energetic set which included dub, rock, reggae and thrash metal.

Timmy Schumacher & MC Kyla played on the remix theme and, fittingly enough for the Bogan crowd, busted out ‘Thunder Struck’ by AC/DC and ‘Killing in the Name Of’ by R.A.T.M. Prior to this, break beats/funk/electro inspired Funk n Slow Cuts (Minuit’s Paul Dodge, with the Kernel MC) busted out a ‘Gangster’s Paradise’ remix.

I am not a fan of mixing MCs with drum & bass/breaks. The Kernel MC did not change my opinion. I stuck around while he babbled over the Funk n Slow Cuts set, fingers crossed he would end it there. Unfortunately, he did not. He insistently ‘rapped’ his nasally, ego-driven nonsense over The Upbeats’ whole theatrical drum and bass set – repelling a few of us from the dance floor.

We came back for Agent Alvin’s breaks set, which proved to be the highlight of the night. It was pumping, twisted and varied and, most importantly, MC free. What’s more – as the drum and bass eased up, so did the crowd. In these wee hours, it started to feel like the Phat Parties I am so accustomed to. Too bad that feeling was only present for about two hours out of eighteen.

Like so many other scenes – popularity kills. Phat Outdoor parties are far from their Nelson roots. The World of Wearable Arts were allegedly forced to move locations, in need of a more stable and spacious venue. During this process, they lost their roots. And, unfortunately for original Nelson ravers, the same thing has happened to Phat Outdoor parties.


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  1. Riprah says:

    This review is a pile of shit.

    Little Miss Stacey Knott needs to get out of Wellington more often.

    Mc’s are an integral part of any outdoor party. If it was dj’s all night then she is the type of person that would have been complaining about the absecnce or any “live” elemet.

    I thought Kora’s set was fine UNTIL they busted out the drum n bass, at a pretty lame bash at something like Shapeshifter. That was highly embaressing. But no, Kora get the massive reps because they are in the limelight at the moment. Staceys shameless big upping of an act that is “so hot right now” is as transperant as her review is.

    Just to correct also, Agent Alvin doesn’t play breaks he plays dnb. He produces breaks, but he djs dnb. Here the writer yet again shows her lack of knowledge.

    As for Phat losing its roots….pleeease. Phat had to move the party there was nothing they could do. If you can’t move with the times and your enjoyment of a party is based solely on its location then you shouldn’t be there.

    Phat for me represents an unconditional love of music in an outdoor setting…and while the programming occasionally seems to lapse, it’s still the best party to go to. I will continue to attend Phat parties and refuse to be shaken by this kind of review.

    And is little miss Stacey so snobby that she can’t party in environment with people that are outside her comfort zone? If not then she should stick to Wellington bars with the oh so cool cool crowd jerking on about how great the last J Dilla album was and drinking thier mars bars cocktails at the Matterhorn.

  2. stacey says:

    ‘Riprah’ with opinions so strong, why hide behind a pseudonym? Own your opinions dear (presumably) boy, I’m sure the Phat crew will pat you on the back for sticking up for them.

    In regards to your accusation of me giving Kora ‘massive reps’ where did this occur? I simply said their set was eclectic and energetic and that they pulled the most people to the floor, which is true. Shameless upping of an act so hot right now? While I appreciate Kora and do think they are mighty talented, I have no desire to jump on the Kora bandwagon with fanatical raving.

    How lovely that Phat means so much to you. It once did for me too, and perhaps in the future will again, but in the mean time, as hinted at in the above review it’s all a bit of a has been phase for me.

    This review was not intended to deter people from attending the Phat parties, in fact some of the best times of my life have occurred at both the phat club and their outdoor dance parties. Dave and Selina have built an amazing empire in the D&B world, which I wholeheartedly applaud them for.

    However, simply put, i did not enjoy this party, for the reasons listed above.

    Snobby? No not really. For once I didn’t feel comfortable in that environment and that was mainly due to people there, Phat has always pulled quite an eclectic crowd, which i have no problem with, but as far as having a comfort zone goes, mine is pretty broad, but stops at boy racers on P or pissed to the point of stumbling all over the dance floor.

    While i wish i could afford these drinks ‘mars bars’ cocktails at the Matterhorn you speak of, as a poor student that sure ain’t a reality for me.

    PS your spelling and grammar is worse than mine. Well done.

  3. matt butt says:

    Riprah you’re a fucking retard

  4. Riprah says:

    I don’t look for any pats on the back, little miss. I am just saying what I think.

    And yes, be proud of your education, it helps you to point out when peoples grammar and spelling are wrong. Aren’t you smart now.

    I have had some really good times at Phat.

    I just thought the whole review sucked. Someone had to say something. I know lots of people who went to both Phat 07 and Phat Moon and who will continue to go back to Phat parties.

    I’m sick of student magazines just bagging shit because it’s cool to. I think Salient and that crap student mag in Dunedin are the worst offenders.

    Hah and you talk of “Dave and Selena” like you know them?(You won’t be welcome at any more Phat parties it seems! Better hope there’s not some act you want to see!) You applaud them for their “dnb empire”. Get with the programme. The dance scene has minimalized over the last three or so years. There’s no “empires” or ludicrously rich people in any kind of viable and respect worthy dance music promotion in NZ. And that’s why reviews like this anger me. It really doesn’t help things.

    Sure there were some raggedy types there, but everyone was minding their own business and having a good time. The vibe of the night and the setting far outweighed this factor for me.

  5. Riprah says:

    and matt – you are quite obviously a BUTT

  6. Tristan says:

    “Mc’s are an integral part of any outdoor party.”
    “I think Salient and that crap student mag in Dunedin are the worst offenders.”
    “and matt – you are quite obviously a BUTT”

    Following these three statements, I deduce that you are probably one of the Dunedin MCs who threatened to “deck” Aaron Hawkins of Critic a couple of years ago, when he dared to suggest that maybe MCs might stop ruining drum ‘n bass with their yapping.

    Yes, MCs can be enjoyable – provided that they know how to rap WITH the DJ, and when to shut up, rather than simply saying their name – as in “MC dick wad is the shit, yeah the shit, yeah MC dick wad YUR!”, which is what far too many MCs do, for hours on end on a mix of BZP, NoDoze and egotism. Criticising this practise does not mean that Stacey is anti-MC, simply that she is anti-crap-MCs.

    Furthermore, we have all seen how drunken boy racers ruin dance parties. CRAVE, the rave-in-a-cave on long beach, was one of the greatest events on the Aotearoa dane music calendar. It was a brilliant idea, brilliantly executed – until hordes of drunken boy racers started turning up and causing fights. The Dunedin City Council has since banned the event. So yeah, Stacey is right to criticise these wankers.

    Seriously Mr. Riprah, you might want to consider that perhaps there ARE problems with the dance scene here, and that although the vast majority of the music journos I have ever encountered in my life are full of shit and simply pursuing the job for mojo (including myself during my own attempts), we actually have a rare exception here.

    Well. That was a ramble and a half. But you deserved it.

  7. Riprah says:


  8. jo the mo says:

    to you who ‘had some really good times at phats”

    if you can put aside your condesencion for a moment please… you’ll find i’m in fact- not a Lttle Miss, and quite seperate to the Stacey to whom you refer.
    your presumptions are quite without reason and your attitude obviously fuelled on something other than good vibes, a mode to dance and more likely founded, the spoiler to spoil all skylines.

    Arseholes on p very rarely mind their own buisiness so i think we can all agree that the safety element has departed. dont scorn “a little miss” for noting this aspect please- i think it’s a point worthy of review.

    i wasn’t at phats but i have been to dance parties of both high callibre and of low

    for those of us who perhaps weren’t with dave and selena or whoevers name you dropped just now- im not interested in d&b collectives and scenes. i just hate areseholes- i hate dancing with them; i hate partying with them; i hate coming home ona saturday morning and respond to their sultry, lonely reviews of reviews.

    all this and yet i’m not a hater!


    and matt is not a BUTT. it is simply his surname. so there.

  9. riprah says:


    I wasn’t dropping names if anyone is dropping names it’s Stacey!

    Read back, you will see she was the first person to name drop “Selina and Dave” (note the punctuation).

    And open your eyes there are lots of people in clubs and at dance parties on P. it’s an evil of the scene you can’t avoid. Crack is used heavily in the dance scene in Wellington. You are probably out amongst people who are tweaked out – yet you probably don’t notice because you don’t have a clue.

    And incidentally, I hate reviews of reviews of reviews! you are not exempt JO

  10. jo the mo says:

    LOAL indeed

    though i beleive when reviewing a gig for a relatively wide read publication it is appropriate to mention the names of the organisers whether it be on a first name or company name (if they had one) basis.

    the fact that that stacy may know the organisers and has risked “never being invited back to another phat moon” -as you threaten so callously- only goes to show her creadability as a reviewer- she has put her honest experience and opinion ahead of what, for some may be a desire to remain on the sycophantic side of some ‘cool’ organisers.

    personally im not into d&b or breakbeats and certainly not mc’s. i do enjoy laughing at cracked out internet hounds though.

    try and get some sleep RIPRAH xx

  11. Riprah says:

    ah deary me

    you and your sad little magazine bitches…you’re starting to become the new centre of deabte here jo! because you’re a fuckin tard!

    now it’s getting personal with the organisers – like all of a sudden you are slinging rude comments at them (how in god did we get to this point?! they probably don’t even know or care this thread exists!) you don’t make salient or your half rate jorno mates look any better…

    you don’t like breaks? mcs? or drum n bass – fuck man what do you like??? the sound of your own cheeks flapping in the wind maybe? yes i am sure you like the sound of that…

  12. Riprah says:

    ps : your mommy has put out a fresh saucer of milk for you jo…nighty night…xx

  13. Tristan says:

    oh my, look how you have defeated Salient with the wit of your toilet humour! Oh that you had the intellectual sharpness to call someone a “tard” – my oh my!

    Now riprah honey, saying that Dave White is ‘cool’ in quote-marks is hardly enough to get offended over. To say such a thing is not to deny that he organises great events. You argue that the phat organisers probably don’t care that this thread exists – yet clearly YOU care enough to get your knickers is a wee twist.

    And finally, while you may feel hip with your edgy “saucer of milk” jokes, all you have really demonstrated is your lack of actual thought. None of us ever said that we don’t like drum n bass. You may not realise this, but not liking crap music does not = not liking any music at all.

    So if you can tell us what your actual problem with this review is – if you can identify any one act which was treated unfairly, which was better than how Stacey described them – then you will have said something. As it is, all you are doing is mashing the keyboard, and I’m only replying to you because you need to be put in your place.

  14. This is one of the lamest exchanges ever wrought on this teeny-tiny piece of cyber real estate.

  15. riprah says:

    strangely enough i agree michael – but when i read this i really felt it was about time someone said something…i have just read too many reviews of artists and parties like this in uni mags around the country…mis informed, lacking substance and just flaming nz music and the nz scene for the sake of it – for no other reason than the reviewer showing how witty and smart they are by just dissing something for the sake of it. yeah, thats really showing off your college education.

    ahem…read back tristran

    or shall i quote unless you missed it because you are a tard

    “You applaud them for their “dnb empire”. Get with the programme. The dance scene has minimalized over the last three or so years. There’s no “empires” or ludicrously rich people in any kind of viable and respect worthy dance music promotion in NZ. And that’s why reviews like this anger me. It really doesn’t help things”

    i re iterate :

    if you enjoy dance music and you want to continue to go to dance parties then it needs a foot up, not this kind of terribly written review – which is mis informed (eg agent alvins music genre) and in general amatuerish.

    *raises middle finger*

  16. Soon-to-be-VSM-advocate says:

    Hey riprah, maybe you should lay off the P and stop taking it so personally. It’s well written and fair review.

  17. Tristan says:

    It’s heartening, riprah, that you agree that your own posts are part of “one of the lamest exchanges ever wrought on this teeny-tiny piece of cyber real-estate.” I, for one, concur, accepting that my own pointless defences are fairly inane.

    As they say, arguing on the internet is like running in the special olympics – win or lose, we’re still freaks. But it also addictive, so meh. It’s nice that, after half a dozen posts, you have finally explained your point – that the dance scene has decayed of recent years. Well, maybe. We still have a handful of major outdoor parties and regular indoor sets or what-have-you. But there is probably some truth in the statement. Certainly, Stacey suggests so towards the end of the article.

    Which makes your griping a little odd. Your wee ‘witty’ jibes about butt cheeks in the wind aren’t really backed up by any problem with the article itself, besides one minor issue with an mc’s genre.

    Anyhu, I have wasted enough space with my vapid rambles against this moron so, seeya.

  18. riprah says:

    yeeeeyah maaaaan i’m haaaard out on the p duuuude i might come thru your living room with an axe!!!



    have fun kiddies!!!!

  19. Soon-to-be-VSM-advocate says:

    Hey riprah, I realise you’re trying to be condescending, but dude, it’s not working.
    Face it, you’ve been well and truly burned. Perhaps you should just twaddle off with your tail between your legs instead of making even more of a dick of yourself.

    Thanks for the entertainment though :-)

  20. Clay says:


  21. Aaron says:

    congrats to stacey knott – a pretty good review – but mainly for having to deal with online viruses like riprah. dear god. why do people get so wound up about people not agreeing with them? like i have said numerous times in numerous places – reviews are the opinion of one. if you’re so insulted, go out and write your own fucking reviews. or is it that you’re simply not prepared to risk pissing short-sighted and dim-witted fans, sensitive artists and promoters by daring to criticise them. all for … wait, last time i checked nobody got anything really out of writing for student media. if you look back at the whats in it for me graph, i think you’ll find it’s very little. and then, on top of getting nothing for your hard work, you get abused by some kid because you, like, totally dissed their favourite band.

    cheers to all the writers and critics out there – the world needs more of you – lest we all slide into the pit of mediocrity forever.

  22. Lauren says:

    This review says it how it is. I remember the good ol’ days of Phat Chill and Phat Moon up the Maitai with Shapeshifter, Salmonella Dub,Concord Dawn etc. etc.. I totally agree that the atmosphere of Phat parties have certainly changed and have refused to go back due to people stealing from our tent and smelling like bourbon for 3 days at Phat 07 cos some drunken fucker wearing a camouflage outfit spilled it all over me (I swear he was invisible)

  23. Melissa says:

    All I want to say (without getting into trouble) is…. Come back to Nelson – we miss you!

  24. Jessica says:

    Hey Tristan, I know a few people who would like to deck Aaron Hawkins and they are not restricted to the Dunedin region, nor are they MC’s. The dude’s a drop kick. I sincerely hope he is an only child and is incapable of reproduction. Yes, we can but pray that he be a spawnless species.

  25. Amber says:

    I wish we could try uplifting each other a little. All this negativity makes me miserable….

  26. moza says:

    I read some and skimmed most, but the reality is that I did in fact attend Phat07/moon/08 and all three were awesome. I’m a photographer and cinematographer, and I looked in every nook and cranny I could find for lots of interesting stuff, and I published masses of my work for free. Ive been going to festivals for 4 decades and I’m appalled at the original review and much of the transactions about Phat/s.

    I spent a bit of time with the team of people assembled to ensure safety, they are really nice, committed, well meaning humans that maintained vigilance and were well prepared, but frankly I didnt see any incident at all that needed any help.

    I gotta say that I have seen real seriousness at other festivals, as I’m usually right in the midde of it, and there just wasnt any in Inangahua. I felt as safe as I ever have, I loved the music, and I opened my eyes to see it how it was, rather than colour the truth with my memories and self imposed disapointments.

    I’m a bit sick of dis-information too, but it happens.

    Take responsibility for your own state of being, stop blaming others. Enjoy life!!

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