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August 6, 2007 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Lesbian Gang Names:

1. Dykes on Bikes
2. The Kathman-dykes
3. (Whose gang?) Our gang!
4. Rug Punchers
5. The Mongrel Muff

Queer Icons:

1. Clea DuVall
2. Sharon from Our Bar
3. Peewee Herman
4. The Topp Twins
5. Rachael Wright

Places to have gay sex:

1. A Destiny Church service
2. The Wimmin’s Room
3. Pat Walsh’s Office
4. VUWSA President’s Office
5. Brian Tamaki’s bed

Centrefold pin-ups we’d like to see:

1. Sharon from Our Bar
2. Elton John
3. Nicola Kean
4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (making out with Xena)
5. Hercules/ Kevin Sorbo

Queer accessories:

1. Double-ended dildo
2. Swandri jacket
3. Leather chaps
4. Sequins
5. Maddy Drew

Animal-related sexual phrases:

1. Mutton Flaps
2. Camel Toe
3. Bearded Clam
4. Pork Sword
5. Jackrabbit

Deviant Sexual Practices:

1. Lipophilia: sexual attraction to obese individuals
2. Mechaphilia: sexual attraction to machines, especially robots or androids
3. Plushophilia: sexual attraction to stuffed toys or people in animal costume, such as theme park characters
4. Stygiophilia: sexual pleasure from the thought of going to hell
5. Symphorophilia: sexual attraction with stage-managing a disaster, such as a traffic accident


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Comments (4)

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  1. seann says:


    These are better:

    Queer Icons:

    1. DIVINE
    4. “HIM” (Powerpuff Girls Transexual Demon)

    Places to have gay sex:
    1. Parekura Horror-meaah’s boobies (titty fuck)
    2. Gloryhole sodomy (all you bareback proud queers no where they are!)
    3. The PM’s beehive office (yes, T.A you know about that!!!)
    4. VUWSA President’s Mouth
    5. Brian Tamaki’s Arsehole

    Centrefold pin-ups we’d like to see:
    1. DIVINE
    5. EMMA GOLDMAN (actual sexual revolutionary)

    Queer accessories:

    1. Double-ended dildo (but permanently stuck inside your arses)
    2. Gun
    3. Liquid Eyeliner
    4. Hairspray
    5. An endless supply of S C Schoolboys (QM for the lezzie gals)

    Best Q Male Porno’s

    1. Dude, Where’s My Blowjob?
    2. Inside Geoffy’s Ass
    3. Womb Raider
    4. Dad & Son Series
    5. (Little) Bobby Does Dallas

    Deviant Sexual Practices:
    1. Paraphilia: sexual attraction to parakura horror-meeah
    2. Mechaphilia: sexual attraction to machines (e.g. Helen Clark)
    3. Boyogirlophilia: sexual attraction to stuffed boys and girls
    4. Stygiophilia: sexual pleasure from the thought of joining the NZ Labour Party
    5. Gerontophilia: natural sexual attraction to the elderly

  2. seann says:


    1. Dykes in Kikes
    2. The Cunting Huns
    3. Helen’s Hoes
    4. The Hairy Ball Daggers
    5. The Mongol Micks

  3. Papa Bear Growl says:

    Queer Icons:
    1. Gandalf
    2. Christine Rankin
    3. Michael Jackson
    4. Adolf Hitler
    5. Thomas the Tank Engine

    Places to have Sex:
    1. The Red Carpet at one of Peter Jackson’s Premieres
    2. Elijah Wood’s arsehole (lubricated)
    3. Clayton Cosgrove’s Electoral Office
    4. Clint Rickard’s bald head (baton optional)
    5. The back row at any Pee Wee Herman movie

    Naked centrefolds:
    1. Fat Bastard (Austin Powers)
    2. Rodney Hide
    3. Georgina Bayer (fully aroused)
    4. (Long) Dick Cheney
    5. Marilyn Monroe (rotten worm food but still lovely)

    Queer Accessories:
    1. Plaster of Paris (with bits of Paris Hilton still attached)
    2. Mayonaise
    3. Maddy Drew (Heil Maddy! – the strap-on version)
    4. The ‘mystery meat’ your flatmate left in the fridge six weeks ago.
    5. Frank Oz’s hand (after so many years up the anal cavities of the muppets)

    Animal-Related Sexual Practices:
    1. Drafting a Private Member’s Bill.
    2. Studying animal husbandry at Massey.
    3. Anything that occurs between two consenting adults at a Labour Party Conference after-function.
    4. Putting the ball in the scrum.
    5. Cumming in the ref’s mouth.

  4. Henry Jane Windsor says:

    Queer Icons:
    1. Gandalf
    2. Michael Jackson
    3. Adolf Hitler (I’m Kampf)
    4. Fat Bastard (Austin Powers)
    5. Thomas the Tank Engine

    Places to have Sex:
    1. Elijah Wood’s face
    2. The basketball court at S C
    3. Swimming with dolphins
    4. Under the desk in Clayton Cosgrove’s electoral office
    5. The back row at any Pee Wee Herman movie

    Centrefold pin-ups we’d like to see:
    1. Osama bin Laden (oh that beard!)
    2. Rodney Hide
    3. Jar Jar Binks
    4. (Long) Dick Cheney
    5. Marilyn Monroe (she is worm-food now but still sexy)

    Queer Accessories:
    1. Play-Doh
    2. The ‘mystery meat’ your flat mate put into the fridge two months ago.
    3. Freddy Krueger’s glove
    4. Maddy Drew (the strap-on version)
    5. ‘Tickle Me’ Emo

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