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September 10, 2007 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Ways you know you’re in Wellington:

1. You think you are in Cuba
2. Everyone has a Che Guevara T-shirt
3. You don’t hear Fat Freddy’s anywhere because you are over it already.
4. There are so many damn cool people around.
5. Bad architecture (Hail Rex Nicholls)

Ways you know you are in Cuba:

1. You think you are in Wellington
2. You are at Fidels
3. You are at Havana Bar
4. Che Guevara is wearing a Barnaby Weir T-shirt
5. You’re listening to Radio Active

Alternative names for Wellington:

1. Cuba
2. Havana
3. Kerry’s Place
4. Greater Hutt
5. Pretenseville

Reasons why Wellington is the Creative capital of New Zealand

1. KFC
2. Rex tells Kerry to say so
3. Because Fat Freddy’s Drop have left
4. The Hurricanes
5. Tim Bagnell

Reasons why Wellington Bars are so cool:

1. The Bar names (see below)
2. San Francisco Bathhouse
3. Buena Vista Social Club
4. Kitty O’Shea’s
5. Kumera

Reasons why Kitty O’Shea’s is the worst bar in Wellington:

1. Saturday 2:00am
2. Friday 9:30pm
3. Tuesday 12pm
4. Wednesday 8-10:30pm (Happy Hour)
5. Bono

Top 5 Pick up lines in Reading Cinema:

1. So are you 15?
2. So are you 14?
3. So are you 13?
4. So are you 12?
5. So are you from Cuba?

Reasons you know spring is coming:

1. The Police are coming
2. Rhombus are one season closer to releasing the same album they released last year.
3. Security firms are hiring lots of guards to cover ‘One Love’
4. Everyone has forgotten how boring ‘One Love’ is
5. Property developers are getting a glint in their eyes and a stain in their pants

Sounds Axl Rose Makes:

1. Lookout!!
2. iiy-ee-yie-e-yiii
3. oooooooaaahhrr…..!!
4. When he blows the whistle during ‘Paradise City’
5. Chinese Democracy will be out next month!!


About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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