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February 25, 2008 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

President’s Column

$10 for Tiki! No Shit! Best Deal in the Country this Year! I’ve talked to a lot of you already and that’s fun, big shout out to the 60 odd NZSM students I took on my ‘alternative’ tour of the university, I need to do more of that, as the university is an interesting place. What with the glory holes and peepholes abounding the Kelburn campus. Just to clarify, myself and Steve Nicoll (last year’s Salient editor) heard from some mates (who are into that sort of thing…) that there are a bunch of glory holes etc. around discrete spots in the on campus, we were planning on writing a column on the sordid nature of the university, but just decided from that not to use any toilets with cubicles in them…

Anyway. 1st year orientation! Hell of a lot of fun, the amount of free stuff I’ve given out is epic and Jon McQueen our sponsorship manager needs a big pat on the back for that! I put down a promise and it has been taken up by a couple of students already. At VUWSA we’re here to help, if you’ve got a hole in your bag or your shoes are falling apart, come over to us and I’ll tape them together again with gaffer tape. It’s not a long-term solution (although my shoes are holding up) but right now, it’ll make a difference. We can put you onto a whole bunch of ways of getting some support without fucking over the bank balance.

I’ve had a phenomenal response from students about helping out with orientation and various political and social events through the year, a fair a mix of getting into gigs for free, getting free stuff and some good ‘ol fashioned student community spirit, all good in my books, as that’s to varying degrees why I got into helping out VUWSA. You want to do this? Haven’t yet? is the way to go! There’s no compulsion to do anything if you don’t want to, you’ll just get info on our free stuff, cheap events and general info, no one’s coming over to your house to force you to take our free soup if you don’t want to (We actually don’t know where your house is to start with…), but there are benefits, as one student mentioned at Vic House today. Scratch our collective back and we’ll scratch your singular back. It’s a good relationship for both of us… It’s blaring in my title, but go see Tiki live tonight (Monday 25th of Feb if you’re reading this on Monday).

$10 get’s you into some pretty mediocre metal or Tiki ex-Salmonella Dub with a decent amount of the band Shapeshifter fronting up as his backing band. Ten bucks? You won’t forget it. Best deal of Ori in my books. I’ll be there, tap me on the shoulder and I might chuck you some prizes if I have any left.

One of the campaigns you’ll be seeing around soon is the “I love my Penis” campaign. It’s a pretty shitty situation when just 3% of all guys get an STI check in their lifetime. That’s how feral stuff like herpes and rabies runs rampant and I’ve seen the sorry result of those terrible terrible maladies (except rabies, it’s not really an STI, but it’s feral nonetheless). Student Health is free for all students (to a point, they do charge for minor surgery, but if you’re at the stage of minor surgery you’ve got bigger problems) so take advantage of it. So many people leave it till after the crotch pain starts or the crabs bite ,to take it to the doctor, take advantage of the ease of access and the lack of user pays, to go have a visit. And during the year if you’re sick and can’t do you’re work, get an aegrotat, get an extension. Don’t think you won’t get one and not try, because I’ve seen way too many burnt out students and that’s never a pretty sight, I hate it.

Gerrard Hoffman (head of Counselling and a good guy otherwise) made some jokes about the lack of protests and I called him up on that. We’ll be getting into gear next week for something to follow on and build up from Box City last year. Because quite frankly Students should not be forced to borrow money to pay for their living expenses.

I don’t begrudge the dole, it’s safety net and a shit one at that, I’ve been on it, there’s no ferrari’s on that clapped out train!

We’ll be marching down to Parliament in a few weeks time, I know I’ll be seeing Helen Lowry House there following in the tradition of the 1⁄4 of the entire hostel who camped out in the quad last year for Box City. Join in, take part. If ten billion dollars in student debt bothers you. Email me: We can turn the tide.


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Comments (13)

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  1. Josh says:

    Holes in shoes are not of concern to me however glory holes are, inform this curious little first year.

    I cant start respecting you till you get rid of that bloody hat. A shave may also be an idea along with a weekly shower.

  2. Joel’s always had smelly hats. Students just keep voting ’em back in.

  3. Jackson Wood says:

    I hear there is a Glory hole on the corner of the Union building. The one on the corner closest to the sea… It is quite a large one… and I’m pretty sure it is for pedestrians to put into, because I have seen a lot of dicks in that room as of late.

  4. lou says:

    Jackson I thought being the political editor would mean comments like your last would be inappropriate. And for the ignorant out there Jackson is referring to Joel’s office. I mean aren’t you meant to provide fair, accurate and balanced reporting? Or is your ego too important for what we as students have to right to- accurate portrayal of whats going on in the world of student politics?

  5. Jackson Wood says:

    If the president is going to take one paragraph out of his column to talk about glory holes around campus I think he deserves to get mocked a bit. If my ego was important to me I probably wouldn’t be doing this job, and doing it so badly. In the future I will keep such thoughts to myself.

  6. lou says:

    It undermines your credibility if u are taking such a blatant line such as “Joel’s a dick”. Its also extremely juvenile and should be beneath a graduate of politics. Are they teaching critical thinking at uni anymore? Using confused ironic humor to justify the inappropriate statement just reinforces this level of debate. It will be interesting to see if you allow all members of VUWSA a chance to represent themselves this year or you frame them the way your bias dictates as I suspect you will. Are your glasses rose coloured?

  7. Joel is a dick, and it’s important that his constituents learn this. Salient only has to provide the President with a column – however, other exec members can easily appear in the magazine through Eye On Exec, news pages or clubs/activities etc pages. Lou – are you Nick Kelly?

  8. felicia jollygoodfellow says:

    “Joel is a dick, and it’s important that his constituents learn this.” Better a dick than an arsehole like McGee.

  9. matt the truck says:

    Steve Nicoll and Joel went out and tested the glory holes… a good friend told me

  10. Felicia Jollygoodfellow says:

    Matt, your good friend told you wrong. If you knew anything about the personal habits of Cosgrove and Nicoll, you would know that they are both (sadly) very hetero, Nicoll to the point of appearing creepy.

  11. matt the truck says:

    No… Joel and Stevie are on the down low

  12. Brunswick says:

    Appearing creepy?

  13. anarkaytie says:

    How about practicing creepy, to the point of nauseating, and costing serious amounts of the CCH regional health budget?

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