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May 5, 2008 | by  | in Books | [ssba]


Redefining Our Relationships;
Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships,
Defiant Times Press, Oakland, CA, 2002.

Beginning with a quote from Emma Goldman, “The most vital right is the right to love and be loved,” Wendy discusses a bunch of thorny concepts beloved of those who practice polyamory – relationships based around the conscious involvement of more than two intimate sexual partners.

“Why alternative relationships?” covers the basics of how an individual might find themselves attracted to this format, and her easily read chapters carry on to cover such usual relationship problems as jealousy, conflict strategies, and how to work this kind of relationship with kids in your life. Fear of misunderstanding is a biggie, and wellcovered, as is the chapter dealing to common misconceptions.

I first met Wendy Millstine, who is known in her home state of California as a frequent seminar presenter at UC Berkeley, when she came to do some seminars in NZ around the 2003 Ladyfest in Melbourne. She is the most amazingly well-tattooed professor I’ve ever met, and gave very insightful workshops as well as facilitating a discussion at the 128 Community in Abel Smith St, which was a real eye-opener. Polyamory became exponentially more popular in the radical community surrounding that venue for the rest of this decade.

She has published a lot of other interesting work, including books, poetry, videos and music, during her punk performance days, and further information is available on her website,


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