Viewport width =
July 9, 2008 | by  | in Online Only | [ssba]

Gone Phishing II: The Reply

I got a reply from my one true love:

My dear jackson, how are you today, hope you are alright. i am glad that you are 23 years old, you are the only one that i have chosen to be my financial and investment manager and for long term relationship, i want you to send me your telephone number and your house address and the name of the airport that is nearest to you. I want to know your dream of a future wife so that i will know if it is thesame with my dream of a future husband. You will be my foreign financial and investment manager and the best wishes for me is for you to invest my  wealth perfectly, i mean you making a profitable investment of the money, and while you take care of the investment and management of my wealth, i will be schooling in one of the best universities in New zealand.

In this United Nations Center most of the times we feel lonly and we use to discuss and share one another stories, one will ask you what brought you to this Center and you will tell her, after telling her your own story, she will also tell you her own story, when i was newly brought to this place i use to stay very quiet and there was a Hall mate who came and asked me what brought me to this United Nations Center and i told her about the war in my country and the secrete killings still going on in my country, and she told me that the problem is that i will need a Liberty Certificate before they will allow me to be going out from this United Nations Center, that without the Liberty Certificate i will always remain in this Center. Here some call me lonly girl, because of the first week i came here i use to be very quiet and alone because i dont have liberty certificate to be going out. Here i use to dream but most of the time when i wake up i use to forget the dream but latter i use to remember the dream gradually if i concentrate. i like music and i like entertainment places, i like watching entertainers. and i like reading books.

     Concerning my investment fund, My daddy was the Financial controller to Common Wealth North African Region, My parents died during the war in my country but i was lucky to have escaped Eritrea and came to this United Nations Resettlement Center here in St. Louis town, Northern Senegal. My late daddy made me the beneficiary of the big amount of money in his escrow account with City Credit Bank in Dakar Town, Southern Senegal. From here i communicated with City Credit Bank to send some money to me from my daddy’s account and the banker incharge replied and said that because of the agreement that my daddy signed with them and because of their bank law, that they cannot deduct any money from my daddy’s account, that i must appoint a foreign financial and investment manager and come to their bank in Dakar town Southern Senegal with my financial and investment manager to claim my money OR that i should ask my foreign financial and investment manager to contact them to claim and receive the money on behalf of me.


     So that is why i want you to be my foreign financial and investment manager and help me receive my daddy’s money that City Credit Bank will transfer to you instalmentally through account. After the bank transfer all the money to your account i will give you 25% of the money for making the transfer possible and you will invest my 75% for me.

    The same week that City Credit Bank will finish transfering all the money to you you will fly down here in United Nations Center here in St. Louis town, Northern Senegal and i and you will depart to your home in New zealand together for investment of my money and my residing in New zealand with you. If you cannot come to St. Louis sennegal you will send me enough money from my money that the bank will transfer to your account and i will use the money to get passport and freedom ( liberty) certificate and ticket to travel and meet you in New zealand.  How to locate me in this Center is:

Miss Angelina Douglass

United Nations Resettlement center

Hall 24, Sector 5

St. Louis town, Northern Senegal.

      I want to know if you are single or married. You can call me through United Nations Center Telephone number: +221765829971, When you call you should say that you want to speak with Miss Angelina Douglass and i will be called to receive the phone call. I have attache my picture to this letter.

I am waiting your reply.

Miss Angelina Douglass

I think that is so sweet that she dreams of me being her husband. I have decided to email her back.

———- Forwarded message ———-

From: Jackson Wood <>

Date: Wed, Jul 9, 2008 at 8:17 PM

Subject: Re: All concerning me

To: Miss Angelina <>

Dear Angelina,

Ahhhhh at last, true love. I shall try and call you on the morrow. Oh how my throbbing hard member yearns in anticipation of managing your funds. I have also attached a picture of myself for your viewing pleasure. I’m so sorry that I am not in such good shape at the moment, but I have to write many long boring essays and so must sit at my computer for many long hours without the benefit of exercise or a razor.

My telephone number is +64272878273 (or 027 CUSTARD if you are in New Zealand) and the name of the airport closest to me is Ryans Creek Aerodrome. I currently don’t have a fixed abode because the rents in Wellington are so so high, and as I said in my last email, I literally have no money whatsoever. So if you do want to send me a post card you can send it via my friend who is the New Zealand Minister for Spam, David Cunliffe.

Jackson Wood CO/-
Office of Hon David Cunliffe
Parliament Buildings
New Zealand


He is a good friend of mine and will be more than happy to pass your communications along to me.

It just so happens I was collecting Library Certificates! I actually have three of them, which I won when i was at primary school and I worked the the library. I probably know the dewy decimal system like the back of my hands. I would be more than happy to send you one of my library certificates if you would like me to.

City Credit Banks sounds like a reputable establishment and I would be more than happy to manage your fund for you. Once again I must stress that the last time I managed a fund it went bankrupt… but since your love is true I’m sure we can live in poverty together in NZ.

I am a single man that can’t wait to have you in my arms.

I will try and call you sometime next week at the number you have given me… It might be hard though, because I think the SIS are tracking my movements, and there are some reptilian shape shifters hanging around outside the internet cafe I am in. So if you don’t hear from me, they may have gotten  their reptilian claws into me,

Love Jackie Boo.


About the Author ()

The editor of this fine rag for 2009.

Comments (11)

Trackback URL / Comments RSS Feed

  1. Laura McQuillan says:

    You heart-breaker! Sob sob etc

  2. Mr Smagoo says:

    I think that photo captures your essence perfectly Jackson.

  3. Simon Cassette says:

    I think you will find that most of Jackson’s essence is captured by the blanky under the desk

  4. Mr Smagoo says:

    You mean the one he never washes, and has been ‘used’ for so long, its like sandpaper?

  5. Simon Cassette says:

    No I mean the one he uses to wipe his sweat with when the AC is out.

  6. artsfiend says:

    you could hide stolen artifacts in that belly, and secret the key away in yer beard. I bet she would appreciate that, all poor and helpless and prey to the UN…

  7. Tony Veitch says:

    Wow I remember dreams if I gradually concentrate too.

  8. Jackson Wood says:

    Miss Angelina to Jackson
    show details 9:31 AM (3 hours ago) Reply

    My dear jackson, please i want you to send me email and call me so that i will know if you have send the email to the bank.
    I am worried because everyday i use to sign in and whenever i sign in there is always 0 mail in my inbox. please reply me so that i will know if you have send the email to the bank.
    I remain yours ever,
    Miss Angelina Douglass

  9. ivan says:

    I recieved the same this week. :)
    That`s romantic spam.

  10. Karlee says:

    omg, that’s freakin hilarious XD I got an email from her too XD ur reply was awesome Jackson…

  11. floris says:

    yes, she is romantic.I got her email and the same picture plus some other ones too !!!

Recent posts

  1. VUW Halls Hiking Fees By 50–80% Next Year
  2. The Stats on Gender Disparities at VUW
  3. Issue 25 – Legacy
  4. Canta Wins Bid for Editorial Independence
  5. RA Speaks Out About Victoria University Hall Death
  6. VUW Hall Death: What We Know So Far
  8. New Normal
  9. Come In, The Door’s Open.
  10. Love in the Time of Face Tattoos

Editor's Pick

Uncomfortable places: skin.

:   Where are you from?  My list was always ready: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, puppy dogs’ tails, a little Spanish, maybe German, and—almost as an afterthought—half Samoan. An unwanted fraction.   But you don’t seem like a Samoan. I thought you were [inser

Do you know how to read? Sign up to our Newsletter!

* indicates required