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August 4, 2008 | by  | in Music | [ssba]

This Week In Music

(Special Amy Winehouse Bumper Edition!)

There’s probably a few things we should realise happen in the life of Amy Winehouse every week; she smokes, takes some drugs, a critic wanks over her in a literary sense and someone in the media mentions she has won something at the Grammys (‘the whats?’). But here is what else happened this week:

Rushed To Hospital
Winehouse was rushed to hospital in London on the 28th due to “a bad reaction to medications,” according to Yes… medications… She was released the next day after a night under observation.
Her Dad Prefers The Wax Version

Winehouse’s father, Mitch Winehouse, said he prefers the waxwork version of his daughter unveiled at Madame Tussauds last week. “This one does what she’s told – and she doesn’t move” apparently. He does care about her, really, saying that her husband is a bad influence and the reason for her self harm. My ex’s dad didn’t like me either…

Even Alice Cooper Cares

Alice Cooper urged her not to kill herself with drugs and alcohol, telling the UK’s Daily Star that even though he got up to some questionable stuff “I wasn’t playing around with things as destructive as they are. Amy’s too talented to be messing around like that.”

She’s Not Taking Drugs…

…According to her mother anyway. Janis Winehouse told the Daily Mirror that she believes her daughter is clean, though thinks “she does have the odd sneaky cigarette.” And I am the king of lizard world, pleased to meet you.


It doesn’t matter that Stars In Their Eyes is supposedly so the average Joe can dress up like their favourite singer – professional impersonators can do it too! They can also get bitchy about it. Peter Madsen, who impersonated Bee Gee Barry Gibb on the 7th May show is threatening to take legal action against Manawatu Standard reviewer Peter Lampp because of a poor review he gave one of Madsen’s performance on the program. He claims that the review could be ‘permanently damaging’ to his income as a professional Gibb impersonator and his company’s reputation. Lampp responded by saying that if he had known at the time Madsen was professional he “might have been even more scathing.”

I have a plan if Madsen succeeds in getting the review removed from the website: start a band, don’t make any effort except to make sure the music is terrible, wait until there’s a bad review and sue the shit out of the publication! I recommend you all try it, student debt problem gone!

Best Of The Rest:

You’d think Fox would notice the protest against their portrayal of blacks but Bill O’Reilly has branded Nas a ‘vile rapper’ who peddles ‘the N-word.’ 50 Cent is suing fast food chain Taco Bell for using his identity in an advert where the rapper was encouraged to change is name to 79 Cent, 89 Cent or 99 Cent in promotion for their items priced under $1. Seems he wants 400,000,000 cents in reparations. Finally, an unreleased tape of Beatles recordings has been discovered in a Liverpool attic. Follow my previous financial advice and we can have a bidding war, people.

(This column was purposely left Pete Doherty-free, if he didn’t actually have some talent I’d be comparing him to Lindsay Lohan.)


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