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August 4, 2008 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Top 5 Reasons that Obama will win:

1. Aziz Ansari
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Mos Def
4. The Arcade Fire
5. White people are afraid that voting McCain will mean
they are racist.

Top 5 Official Obama Supporters
1. Chingy
2. Brendan Fraser
3. Stephen King
4. Samuel L Jackson, motherfucker
5. M. Night Shyamalan
By J. Robert Finneman, Attorney at Law

Top five ways to make lectures more exciting:
1. Origami.
2. Snake II
3. Trying to understand the Maori in the Te Ao Marama
4. Light Sabre battles
5. Laughing way too loud when your lecturer makes
remotely sexual remarks.

Top five new(ish) technologies:
1. iPhones & iPods
2. Torrent software
3. Transformers
4. Light Sabres
5. Those robots who kill everyone in I, Robot.

Top 5 reasons why someone other than me should stab
THEATRON in the face:

by -gem-
1. I have better things to do with my life
2. You’ll be famous
3. You’ll be fucking famous
4. He’s not worthy of my sweet new blade
5. Saves me the effort

Top 5 things PMS really stands for:
by Renee
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Plainly, Men Suck
5. Potential Murder Suspect


About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

Comments (3)

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  1. catnipity de Tunip says:

    Top 5 reasons China will dominate in the medals:

    1. Fear of firing squad after other countries go home
    2. Other countries fear of Yao Ming
    3. Gold= safe return of families
    4. Chinese in collaboration with Peter Jackson/ WETA studios can manipulate the mind.
    5. Yao Ming bitch

  2. Kobe Bryant says:

    Yao Ming? Dude I so pwned that bitch

  3. Gibbon says:

    top five reasons to comment on salient’s website

    1. procrastination
    2. free internet means it is a cost-effective pastime
    3. to increase sales of your penis size drug
    4. to bait morons
    5. to make jackson and conrad feel better about themselves

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