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October 6, 2008 | by  | in Film | [ssba]


About Sex and the City, Jenna Powell wrote “You expect a slaphappy rushed piece of shit and that is exactly what you get.”

About Vantage Point, Haimona Peretini Gray wrote “Vantage Point has been described as having a ‘high-concept premise’, and this would be true if the writer had meant ‘premise that is fucking stupid’.”

About Skins, Tristan ‘the captain’ Egarr “It has its over-the-top moments (epitomised by season’s one finale of oh, let’s just hit the arrogant guy with a bus).”

About Iron Man!!!, Andrew McGrath wrote “I learnt a harsh lesson upon seeing Iron Man!!! on the Friday after it opened – I am no longer in Masterton.”

About Berserk, Conrad Reyners wrote “Guts also busts Griffin out of prison where he is getting some very graphic BDSM. That’s sooo gay. And adorable”

About Hancock, Matthew Proctor wrote “Then there is a kuh-RAYzee plot twist, and oh no, “they always come after us.” What ‘they’? Who are these abstract pronouns?”

About Where in the world is Osama Bin Laden, Haimona Peretini Gray wrote “… is a conversation-starter for ADD-stricken adolescents who can‘t bear to think about one thing for too long, or too deeply.”

About The Strangers, Jenna Powell said “It‘s the kind of film you watch with that significant someone, hold each other, get shit scared then go home and make hot passionate love. THIS IS NOT HOW I WATCHED THIS FILM!”

Salient Film 08 Awards

The award for the best accidental insult towards fellow Salienteers goes to… Jenna Powell for “Truth be told, try as I might, I am not a film wanker,” which hates on film student Tania Sawicki Mead and Film Editor Haimona Peretini Gray. Thanks Jenna.

The award for most painful film experience goes to… Dear Zachary, reviewed by Tristan ‘jump up and down in his seat when his flatmate is try to watch the DAMN FILM’ Egarr. “It had the audience shaking, crying, and calling out for justice from our seats. Then we had to go get drunk because it was all too much.

Fuck.” and we did.

The award for the harshest call of 08 film goes to… Haimona Peretini Gray, for “If she was ever searching for ‘La Verdad’, which translates from Spanish into ‘The Truth’, then she has failed.”

And last but not least, the award for best non-sequitur goes to… Anna Macrae, for “Perhaps there was more to it, but I was too busy wondering if brushing my teeth with hummus would make me tougher or if it would just be really expensive.”

Thanks for reading, Haimona.


About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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