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February 2, 2009 | by  | in News Online Only | [ssba]

VUWSA Van-dalised

Early morning traffic down Kelburn Parade was treated to a luridly decorated VUWSA van this morning. Cunning vandals struck the van last night with shaving cream and crayon. The van, which is parked next to the Kelburn Tennis courts, had slogans such as “I <3 COCK”, “I <3 MY PENIS” and “HI GUYS MAWSA <3 U!!!”, as well as phallic-shaped objects ejaculating shaving foam jizz all over the windows and sides, and a swastika drawn in crayon.

The graffiti was written primarily in cheap shaving foam and crayon and was washed off by VUWSA Office Administrator, Carey Clements. “There was no harm done,” he said, as he doused the van with a bucket of water.

The vandalism comes a day after New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations’ (NZUSA) conference was held primarily on the Kelburn campus. NZUSA Co-President Jordan King was unaware of the vandalism when contacted by Salient, but said he did not think that it was related.

Neither VUWSA President Jasmine Freemantle or MAWSA President Alex Sorensen could be contacted at the time of writing.

A bemused student spoken to by Salient on Kelburn Parade said she was worried about the anti-homosexual connotaions of some of the graffiti. “I’m most worried about the swastika. Why would someone draw that on there?” she said.

The slogans appear to be referencing the incident where VUWSA ex-President Joel Cosgrove wore an “I <3 my penis” T-shirt to last year’s May graduation ceremony. The “$20,000 ONO” is a reference to former President and Education Vice President Geoff Hayward and Reverand Paul “Danger” Brown, who spent over $20,000 on upgrading the VUWSA van.


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The editor of this fine rag for 2009.

Comments (20)

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  1. Guido says:

    Finally, a medium where I can discuss my love for Joel Cosgrove’s penis…

  2. great scott says:

    Ok, i never realised the van looked that cool

  3. You hardly ever see all black vans around nowadays. I wonder if VUWSA picked this up from a CIA garage sale.

  4. Jim says:

    I can imagine some of the exec members driving around with a “Free Candy” sign in the window, luring little children into its dark confines, the hope of carefree confectionery in their tiny little minds, leaving them with those hopes, dreams and minds smashed, as the VUWSA fiends feast on the pituitary glands of a flock of primary school children.

  5. It doesn’t just look cool – with its bitchin’ sound system it’s quite fun to drive, although it stalls unless you fuck with the doors and windows when you start it. Random fact. Yay!

  6. great scott says:

    yea, a bitchin paint job and sounds that we paid for…

  7. Wee Hamish says:

    the crosses students bear…

  8. Superior Mind says:

    It seems to me that the crayon swastika was added by someone not associated with MAWSA as I don’t think they’re quite that stupid, (here’s hoping anyway.) The thing is, if you’re going to sign your work like that it’s easy for others to take advantage of this and add images or writings which end up getting attrributed to whoever signed it and end up tarnishing them quite badly.

    Given that the messages exist to remind VUWSA of some of it’s more idiotic episodes it’s kind of ironic seeing as the act itself was a bit of a dunce move. The additional swastika won’t do anything great for MAWSA’s reputation, they’re damn lucky it wasn’t more damaging. This harmless prank could have turned around and bitten a sizable portion out of MAWSA’s arse.

    It’s a shame to see a good practical joke fall apart due to some obvious inexperience. Kudos to MAWSA for trying.

  9. great scott says:

    I don’t think mawsa did this aye, i mean you would have to be pretty stupid to tag your own name on this side of this aye, sounds to me like it was a set up from someone who’s not a fan of either student union

  10. Shitkicker McGee says:

    I heard Massey Albany also got tagged – with a mention of some dude on their exec 10 years ago. My money’s on Cosgrove – no one else would waste time researching shit like that

  11. diddums says:

    superior (erm inferior) mind, you really think MAWSA wrote this, doubt it was them, they are not that stupid…..however anyone believing it was them must be rather……… do I need to finished that sentence?

  12. Superior Mind says:

    The amount of times I’ve been called “Inferior” Mind has really made that zinger loose some of it’s kick, if someone would come up with a new one I’d really appreciate it.

    Why wouldn’t they take credit for a harmless prank? It’s shaving cream not spraypaint. If this was a prank done with malice than I’d agree, MAWSA would be stupid to sign their handiwork but this was just a harmless joke. Pranktsers often enjoy claiming credit for practical jokes, it’s a good way for them to convince themselves that they’re important. Kind of like Salient pseudonyms.

  13. Wee Hamish says:


  14. diddums says:

    hmm coming from the person naming themselves superior minds……can we say ironic

  15. Sando says:

    Yeah, what’s the deal Staffordshire Bull Terrier Mind?

  16. great scott says:

    (Laughs) this is great, cosgrove wouldnt do this, he wouldn know what shaving cream was if it jumped up and covered his cuban dictator’s beard. And MAWSA’s made up of art students so im sure they would be a bit more creative than shaving cream and crayons.

  17. Jim Bob Rangi says:

    I think its funny as
    I would like to meet the people that did this what a waste of student assn money more fool them for leaving it in the open to be tagged

  18. munter says:

    u can talk to geoff hayward and paul brown then, they signed it of. their not on the exec this year tho i dnt think

  19. Detective Guess who says:

    The amount they wrote on the van is also the amount VUWSA and MAWSA have agreed to in regards to the Music students membership, the $120 that come from your fees. It was all going to VUWSA even tho students were using MAWSA serivices (tho the figures are unknown). This year an MOUwas agreed to and the total amount to be paid back is $20,000 over 4 years. Why would MAWSA care how much our van is worth, really think about it? Your welcome to check this out with the current exec. Tho good reporting, and fact finding Salient.

  20. Neal Perry says:

    Who said it was MAWSA that wrote it?

    Detective, Salient has only just got back into production. Forgive them for being sloppy. In saying that, it probably won’t get any better with Wood at the helm. Too rambunctious and headstrong.

    The MAWSA levy, van repairs, ex-presidents owing the association money. It’s all kind of embarrassing any way you look at it.

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