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May 11, 2009 | by  | in News Opinion | [ssba]

Guywear bill becomes law

The much debated Guywear Bill will come into law on 1 June, following a lengthy third reading in parliament on Thursday.

The new act, designed to give every single male who identifies himself as a “guy” a standard uniform, is expected to ease confusion between “guys” and other members of the male persuasion.

The mooted uniform consists of a single print t-shirt, jean shorts, jandals, ‘sunnies’ and a baseball cap depicting an American sports team the guy is likely to have never seen.

The Minister for Guy Affairs Nick Foley noted the passing of the bill as a “tremendous step forward” for all things guy-related.

“For too long people named Nick, Chris and Cam have had to suffer the indignation of being compared with other males when they’re quite clearly a different species,” the Minister said.

“Hopefully this will allow guys the right to search for employment in surfwear stores and car stereo warehouses without fear of being marginalised.”

Spokesman for the National Union of Guysian Affairs, Cam Doyle, was delighted with the new law.

“Yeah, nah, man. It’s the fuckin’ business, eh. It’s pretty sweet, eh. Pretty sweet. Yeah, nah, sweet, bro,” Doyle said.

“Even when it’s cold and shit, people will know how much of a ‘guy’ I am, eh bro, and that’s fuckin’ primo.”

The equally contentious ‘Bubbly Chickie Bill’ which requires all certified bubbly chickies to end every sentence with a raised inflection will be tabled in parliament next week?

[ssba]

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