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September 28, 2009 | by  | in News | [ssba]

Eye on the Candidates’ Forum


This isn’t the VUWSA election season we all know and love. Things have been disgustingly quiet—cordial, even. The prickly tentacles of civilised discourse seem to have taken hold and wrapped themselves around the torso of this year’s band of gnarly political bandits.

The universal law of student politics, much like the science described in Back to the Future, says two student politicians cannot exist in the same space without the universe collapsing.

So, Salient went along to this year’s candidates’ forum hoping for Armageddon, but getting something as lame as that film starring Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis about that asteroid.

No, friend, you’re welcome.

What they said:

Victoria University of Wellington Students’ Association Presidential candidate Alan Young revealed that he supports Voluntary Student Membership (VSM) of students’ associations.

Young, the self-proclaimed “people’s voice”, went on to say many of his supporters think VSM is a good idea and consideration should be given to it.

Max Hardy, who is also running for president, said he would fight against VSM but acknowledged that if his views ran contrary to the majority he will go with what the students wanted. Salient was confused as to why he chose not to run on a “Soft Speaking, Hard Hitting” ticket. Your mum would call him a “Such a nice boy” if she met him. Mums love Max.

Fraser Pearce on why he should be council rep: “Cheaper drinks, pimping out the van—YOU!” He then compared himself to Sarah Palin. Remember her from that other election? Oh ho ho, you get cultural references.

James Sleep belied his surname and gave a coherent and well thought-out talk about why he should be Education Officer. “Student voices need to be heard in the appropriate way,” he said. The normal convention of allowing sound to pass through the eardrum and into your cerebellum quite clearly has no grounding with Mr Sleep.

Alan Young offered these thoughts on being Activities Officer: “Guy Williams was the one who got me into politics… I want to continue his legacy.” Williams was on the VUWSA exec for less than two months before the election result was invalidated. Kia ora, never-read news section, kia ora.

Bridie Hood promised she wouldn’t throw produce at anyone and urged the need for “awareness and promotion” at the association. It’s a shame those kinds of promises need to be made.

Fraser Pearce once again got up to tell us why we should vote for him to be Clubs Officer. He said he wanted to give more money to hostels, allowing the opportunity for you to be on the same mixed-touch team as that tousle-haired pale-skinned guy from E-Floor.

Former Women’s Rights officer Caitlin Dunham was greeted with a rousing applause from the audience. Caitlin outlined her achievements in the past two months. Probably the most qualified and passionate person to speak. Girl wants her job back, mmmhmm!

Craig Carey, who is running for Welfare Officer, wanted to be part of making VUWSA “respectable and competent,” which are also the only prerequisites needed to work as an airline hostess.

Zach Dorner believes that by harnessing his powers of cool he can beat no confidence, saying “I rock the block every time.” He also emphasised that he was committed to the long haul, saying “commitment is part of who I am. I’m single as well.” He also claimed no confidence is “crap”. No Confidence could not be reached for comment at the time of print.

Long-time VUWSA execer Seamus Brady listed his achievements and rightly said: “Vote for me to keep the good work going.” Brady, who has been working at VUWSA since 1963, is two van purchases away from retirement.

Sam Mason, Kieran O’Connor, Alice Pan, Conrad Reyners and William Wu did not show up to the forum. They all have names that are fun to say out loud though.

Queer Representative, VP Administration and Publications Committee Representative did not receive nominations. A by-election will be held for these positions early next year.


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The editor of this fine rag for 2009.

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