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September 28, 2009 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

The Wong view


Insights into Facebook: At 12am

The following conversation takes place on a Saturday night, at approximately 12am.

Location: Facebook.

Shirley 12:14am
Just agree with Shirley and you won’t go Wong.

Michael 12:14am

Shirley 12:16am
I once used that line and it won me an election.

Michael 12:16am
Oh wow

Are you just gonna cut and paste this for your column?

Yes, it’s a Saturday night; I’m on Facebook and am about to pass out (though not from large amounts of alcohol, but rather extreme tiredness). Yet, in this sleep-deprived state, I still managed to have a coherent conversation with fellow Salienteer Michael Langdon.

It’s funny what cool things you can discuss at 12am. It’s also cooler doing it when you are rather sleepy. We mused over many things that Saturday night, like Ancient Greece, hit-lists and why he should never cross me. I thought I’d share some of these insights in the hope that maybe, just maybe you’ll get to know the real Michael Langdon—the one taken away from all the glitz and glam of the Salient office and reduced to nothing but the naked truth, pandas and procrastination (also, cutting and pasting is so much easier than writing a column).

We all know Michael as sub-editor for Salient, though more famously writer of teh grammerz, where he teaches us all about the English language (though, I must note that during our Facebook conversation, he failed to finished most of his sentences with a full-stop). But past that stern exterior, he’s actually really lazy:

Shirley 12:00am
You should go for editor 09.

You could decorate every page with pandas.

Michael 12:00am

Don’t think I could do it

Procrastination is too important to me

Last year I was handing in my essays three, four weeks late all the time

Shirley 12:01am
I wish my lecturers minded.

But they say to me “Shirley, we don’t want a due date to be a burden to you… just hand it in when you want to.”

Michael 12:02am
Exactly what mine said!

Except they didn’t call me Shirley

Have you seen the movie Airplane?

Shirley 12:03am
I was deprived of technology as a child.

Michael 12:04am
“Surely you can’t be serious!”

Shirley 12:04am
“I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”

Michael 12:05am

Ahh, great movie.

Shirley 12:05am

I took this time to notice that there were a lot of people on Facebook at 12am. I couldn’t help but wonder if they were doing the same thing as me, which lead me to my next topic of conversation.

Shirley 12:07am
Does sleep count as procrastination?

Michael 12:08am
Hmmm, depends on if you’re sleeping to avoid doing something

Shirley 12:08am
But people usually can’t force sleep on themselves.

So you only sleep if you are tired.

Hence, you wouldn’t be avoiding something.

Michael 12:08am
You could pretend… haha

Though the next revelation takes place in the space of a minute, many things occurred:

Firstly I concluded that sleep was not procrastination. Michael, who was warned not to cross me, agreed.

Secondly, Michael learned not to cross me.

Somewhere in that time-line we possibly also found the answer to world peace.

Shirley 12.09am
We, who decree the laws of procrastination, agree that sleeping is not counted.

Michael 12:10am
What about procrastination from sleeping?

Shirley 12:11am

Why would one want to avoid sleeping?

Keeping in mind that procrastination is to avoid something we don’t/can’t do

Michael 12:12am
This reminds me of some quote or saying

“I’ve been thinking about giving that some thought”

Hmmm I dunno

Shirley 12:12am
That is not good enough Mr Langdon.

Michael 12:12am

Not at this time of night!

I’m procrastinating from going to bed

It’s funny how time goes by on Facebook. Maybe it’s that particular time of night where all the midnight fairies come out, just like in Shakespeare. One minute becomes two, which then turns to five—like how one question expands into an entire discussion. Well, time does fly when you are having fun. But most probably, I was having naps in between each sentence. Oh well.

Shirley 12:15am
Ok, ok I have a new definition.

Procrastination: Facebook.

Michael 12:15am
I think that pretty much sums it up, yeah

Agreement at last.



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Comments (4)

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  1. Renee Lyons says:

    Okay, here’s one for you: You procrastinate from studying a subject you don’t like by studying for a subject you do like. Is it still procrastination?

  2. These are facts says:

    Procrastination from x = procrastination.

  3. Matt says:

    Slate did an excellent feature issue on the topic sometime last year. The article “ProcrastiNation” being perhaps the best title ever.

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