You’ve probably noticed: Wellington is hilly. The Kelburn campus is situated on a hill. For those of you who can’t afford the bus/lost your Snapper card, or you just can’t be fucked going to the gym, you probably walk up (and down) hills on a relatively frequent basis. You’ve probably also noticed that some shoes are better than others to walk up and down hills in. This week Salient rates the most appropriate footwear for the hiking of Wellington’s hills.

Jandals 3/10

Mmmm. Clichéd Kiwi summer footwear. While your jandals may be perfectly wearable in the central city, when it comes to walking to and from uni, or up and down any incline in the city, you will soon discover that jandals were not made for Wellington’s unique topography. First up, there’s the whole wedgie-between-your-two-biggest-toes feeling. Not to mention, if you encounter an unexpected summer downpour, that shit gets slippery. Adding to your woes is the high likelihood that you will wake up with pneumonia or something.

Chucks 7/10

I don’t think I’ve ever really worn any other kind of shoe in Wellington, except the one time I decided to try Keds. Bleugh. Chucks are where it’s at. They come in all sorts of colours (complementing any outfit), and can be found for around $70–$80 a pair (if you look in the right places). One negative—they’re not that waterproof, especially when they start ripping or get holes in the soles.

Gumboots 5/10

I completely understand why you’d wear gumboots in Wellington, especially during winter. They are waterproof. There ain’t no way that any rain is going to be soaking your tootsies. This means you will spend less time drying your socks over the heaters in the library, and more time studying. Win! The gumboots lose points due to the fact they offer no arch support, and your feet will get ultra sweaty in all that synthetic plasticy material.

Stilettos 0/10

You’d think people wouldn’t even give it a shot, walking up/down Mount Street in stilettos. But I have seen it, not once, but multiple times. Girls teetering on their inches-high strappy heels, hoping to god they don’t tumble head-first the rest of the way down the hill. That or they’re praying that they won’t snap their ankles in half. Seriously, if you’re going to wear stilettos to uni, take the fucking bus.

Crocs 1/10

Don’t. Don’t even think about wearing Crocs to uni. You’re not living in a rural backwater anymore. You’re in Wellington. I don’t care about how comfortable they are. I don’t care that they’re lightweight and versatile. I don’t care that you can get them in a rainbow of colours. They have holes in them. Your feet will get wet. They probably don’t have any grip on the soles and you’ll get up at the bottom of Mount Street in a pile with those girls in stilettos.

Wooden clogs 4/10

These score 4 out of 10, purely on the basis that clogs are, apparently, ‘cool’ again. They sell them at Good as Gold. Clogs were cool back when I was seven. I never owned a pair, but I was oh so jealous of the girls in Room 19 who had clogs. I’m not so jealous anymore. I’d like to think that the new wave of clogs are actually made out of wood, just like the ones they wear in Holland. I imagine that the wood would wear down quite quickly, given the step slopes one is traversing on a daily basis in this fine city. Not to mention the fact if they get wet, they’ll go mouldy like your wooden chopping board. But hey, at least you look cool, right?

Those sneakers with wheels in them 10/10

I’m not sure if they make those sneakers with the wheels in them in adults’ sizes, but man, if they do, talk about the best footwear to don for walking to and from uni. Because they’re sneakers, they’re comfy, but casual, offering your foot all the support it needs. Because they have wheels in them, you can zoom down the hill after class faster than anyone else—as soon as you’ve learned how to zoom in them without wiping out/falling over the pile of girls in stilettos and people wearing Crocs at the bottom of Mount Street. Win!