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August 9, 2010 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

The Panda

Prime Minister John Key is negotiating the lease of a pair of pandas from China, sweetening the deal with a pair of brown kiwi to act as an exchange. “It’s not about which is worth more,” says cheeky-chappy Key*. “It’s about forming a strong bond with China [by exchanging] animals that are of national significance to each country.” Well, that’s just as well, John, because the panda owns the kiwi in most respects. Fact: the panda eats up to 14 kilograms of bamboo shoots a day. Fact: there are about 1600 pandas alive in the world today. Fact: there’s a video of a baby panda sneezing. Final fact: a guy in Napier wanted the city’s failed dolphinarium ‘Marineland’ to be renamed ‘Pandaland’, and to act as home to any pandas successfully negotiated from China. The guy has recently come out and admitted it was a pretty dumb idea, so Pandaland is no longer on the cards. Probably not enough bamboo grows in Napier anyway.

* This is less of a direct quote, so much as it is the general ‘vibe’. What, this isn’t news, this is ‘Animal of the Week’.


About the Author ()

Elle started out at Salient reviewing music. In 2010, she wrote features and Animal of The Week, which an informal poll revealed to be 40% of Victoria students' favourite part of the magazine. Alongside Uther Dean, she was co-editor for 2011. In 2012, she is chief features writer.

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