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September 13, 2010 | by  | in Music | [ssba]

News For Youse, with Peter Andre!

  • Morrissey converts from general ass to full-blown racist, calling the Chinese a ‘sub-species’. Yikes!
  • The XX win the Mercury Prize! Or alternatively, ‘Boring British guitar bands lose out to less boring British band with MPC’
  • The WTF death for the month: Electric Light Orchestra cellist Mike Edwards dies after a freak collision with a rolling bale of hay.
  • Mad Men wins best drama at the Emmys—still fails to hold a candle to Breaking Bad as Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul clean up the acting awards.
  • 30 Rock gets tumbled from its dominance in comedy categories by Modern Family—more out of boredom than Modern Family actually being any good.
  • Rob Schneider (No not him, the one from Apples in Stereo) claims to have built a mind-controlled theremin. Awaiting confirmation on hoax/alien involvement in development of the technology.
  • Cause of recent Canterbury quake has been found to be mother nature’s gag reflex kicking in upon hearing Canterbury’s ugly ducking children, The Feelers, perform ‘Right Here Right Now’. Bring on that RWC…
  • For those that haven’t read it, head on over to the Real Groove website, or pick it up instores, specifically for Stevie Kaye’s review of Sugarpills, the new album from Kids of 88. New favourite quotes include “Pop-punk Parachute bros now in their 20s, dropping Es and feeling a bit naughty”, “All the charm and sonic innovation of the Black Eyed Peas’ ‘I Gotta Feeling’ except with, y’know, more date-rapey videos”, and personal favourite, the use of the term ‘heterotronica’.
  • Speaking of party drugs, T.I. is back in the firing line, after his car was found to have some eccies in it. Naugh’y, naugh’y…
  • Jay-Z is playing Auckland, didn’t you know—opening for U2. Scalpers are rife on Trademe, so if you’ve got upwards of $400 spare, it’s probably time to get buying.

Most importantly, vote for me, Peter Andre, in academic idol! Thanks guys. Move your body next to mine, or something.

Xoxo, P.A.


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Comments (4)

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  1. Simon says:

    i fully support the mocking of any group of people, with such an abysmal record in animal welfare/rights, as lacking in some basics of humanity… nice one morrisey.

  2. Peter Andre says:

    My ex-wife is an illiterate whore

  3. smackdown says:


  4. Peter Andre says:

    And here I was, thinking I could avoid rabid fans here in New Zealand

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