Viewport width =
September 6, 2010 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Salient blind date

Keen to go on a Salient blind date? Email and tell us a bit about yourself (including your name and cellphone number) and your ideal date. Your one true love could be waiting just around the corner


It was a last minute rush to get ready for my blind date, so I went for the casual wear-what-you-did-to-uni and heels look. My sister gave me a ride to the bar and I had a bit of a freak out on the way there thinking: ‘Oh shit, this could potentially be the most awkward night of my life! What if he’s really weird…?!’ We figured there was about a one per cent chance of finding the next love of my life, a 15 per cent chance of him being a total creep, which left an 84 per cent chance of having a good time with a really massive bar tab. Not bad odds really.

He was dead on time. I appeared about two minutes later, and in this time he had already deterred a potential man friend by explaining he was on a date, and made friends with the bartender instead. I decided he was in the 84 per cent bracket and we introduced ourselves and made slightly awkward ice-breaking conversation while downing cocktails.
It turned out he had been called upon for the blind date as he was the only male in the building—bribed with the prospect of free food and drinks. Not gonna deny it, I was blatantly there on the off-chance of finding a guy who had the potential to really rock my socks…But he was a really nice guy and we got on smashingly.

It gets a bit blurry after the cocktails, but we shared tales of life, love and the zoo. It would seem I narrowly avoided assault after I spilt my drink on a woman (the bottom of the glass was wet and it may have dribbled on her a tiny bit). I apologised really nicely and she flirted with me, before becoming enraged at the bar girl for serving her $3 bubbles “in a warm glass!?”

High fives were exchanged when we discovered we had finished the tab, and we bought celebratory tequila shots before affably making our way to another bar to meet my friends. We discovered we were both from the same town, and he heroically stepped in to save me as I was being whooped at pool by a friendly bogan. He got my number as he left, and I guiltily stayed out for a bit longer. I had a blast and hopefully he did too—and I just got my essay in on time. Success! Cheers Salient and the Garden Club!


8pm: I walk into the Terrace Bar and a old man hits on me and asks if I want a drink. I tell him I’m waiting for my date and he walks away—awkward!

8.01pm: The bartender informs me that she just walked in.

8.02pm: We introduce ourselves and order some drinks.

8.05pm: Our bartender disappeared, and we got a new bartender and re-ordered.

8.10pm: Oh god I’ve forgotten her name (what a dick) and politely ask her; she remembers my name because it rhymes with hers.
At some point we ordered pizza—I remember this part but the bartender sure didn’t—he  made awesome drinks though, so I forgave him .

She talked about her jobs and the boys that hit on her. She told me her hang outs (Library, Boogie, Big Kumara—I pulled her up on this one), but she was sweet and funny so I let it go. We had more drinks and then she spilt drinks on the lady next to her. The lady was an interesting character, and complained  that her $3 dollar bubbles came in a warm glass and she wanted another, but she left after an argument with a bartender.
She talked about her childhood and apparently we come from the same town—her mum may have been my teacher. She said she was awesome at pool and even beat the boys (cute and skillful?). She talked about uni and her smarts, her riches and her travels (yes, I will be your toy boy). At one point she asks me to stand guard outside her toilet door. I obliged.
At one point she noted she had a essay due tomorrow—obviously my charm swayed her to stay. We continued talking and drinking, and next thing you know, she pointed out the beetles moving on the bar table (they were disco lights)—I was buzzing out!  The pizza came (finally) and we finished the bar tab! We both agreed one more for the road and hit the tequila! She invited me to  Bristol with her friends where we duly drank more (gin, lol) and played pool…The lies come out—she epic failed at pool.
Never a dull moment, amazing chick. Thanks Salient!


About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. VUW Halls Hiking Fees By 50–80% Next Year
  2. The Stats on Gender Disparities at VUW
  3. Issue 25 – Legacy
  4. Canta Wins Bid for Editorial Independence
  5. RA Speaks Out About Victoria University Hall Death
  6. VUW Hall Death: What We Know So Far
  8. New Normal
  9. Come In, The Door’s Open.
  10. Love in the Time of Face Tattoos

Editor's Pick

Uncomfortable places: skin.

:   Where are you from?  My list was always ready: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, puppy dogs’ tails, a little Spanish, maybe German, and—almost as an afterthought—half Samoan. An unwanted fraction.   But you don’t seem like a Samoan. I thought you were [inser

Do you know how to read? Sign up to our Newsletter!

* indicates required