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March 7, 2011 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

I Am Offended Because… ‘Personal Computers’, or, How to Apply the Rosetta Stone to Your Daily Interactions With Others

I was talking to This Guy the other day (shocking I know, TALKING TO A GUY! This is in blatant defiance of my lesbian code, please don’t tell Ellen) and he was complaining about how the world has become too PC.

I found myself nodding along, very emphatically as he sputtered about “PC gone mad” because I thought to myself, “yes, you know what? The world really has become far too personal computer”. I solemnly recognised this affliction in myself, lamenting my frequent use of more social networking sites than I can count on one hand as I said things like “uh huh” and “mmmmmm” while This Guy was talking. I joined in with an impassioned tirade about how the iPhone is killing the art of conversation, because you can’t enquire as to what a group of monkeys is called without everybody pulling out their clicky-clacky devices and informing you, with smugness and efficiency, that of course a pack of monkeys is referred to as a troop.

This Guy looked at me like I was a mad woman. Slowly, I realised that This Guy wasn’t actually talking about personal computers. He was talking about how it’s sweet as for John Key to sit there with a man who broke his girlfriend’s spine in four places and rank women on their appearance. This Guy said that all of the feminists and the do-gooders just need to calm down/lighten up/chill out because it’s cool that our Prime Minister is just one of the dude bros. My conversation with This Guy was over before it began. I should have listened to Ellen in the first place.

As far as I’m concerned, complaining about the world becoming too PC is actually a code. It’s a big, glaring Rosetta Stone statement that just means “I am unsettled that my bigotry is being challenged”. There’s a reason that people who complain about “PC Gone Mad” tend to be white and rich and able bodied and sometimes male and usually heterosexual. It’s because telling people not to take everything so seriously comes from a place of extreme privilege, as well as an extreme lack of empathy. People who are concerned about PC are actually just concerned about having to give up things they do and say that harm other people. I fail to see how anything can ever be too politically correct, as political correctness is just respect and equality. I mean really, This Guy? What you’re trying to tell me is SLOW DOWN COWBOY, WE’RE JUST TREATING THOSE OPPRESSED GROUPS TOO RESPECTFULLY? Pretty sure that if it was your oppressed group as the butt of a joke then PC wouldn’t actually be PC, it would be your legitimate concern.

This code, though, can be used to your advantage. If somebody is complaining about the world becoming too PC, do a quick check that they aren’t complaining about Facebook, and then cut your losses and run. Respect is like cheese. There can never be too much respect on the salad of life.


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Comments (13)

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  1. Wonky says:

    Well said, Ally!

    “P.C gone mad” is now a cliché answer to any challenge.

  2. Clement McBigglewaddle says:


  3. Irate Cait says:

    You offended me when you made broad statements about guys and listening to Ellen in not talking to them, be more PC. You are the type of girl who makes guys afraid to talk to us girls because of their presumed jaded nastiness. Guys aren’t intimidated by our intelligence around campus, they’re afraid they’ll hit some hot button topic and sink the conversational ship. “I ate this great burger the other day.. ” “Oh you eat meat? i’m a vegefemepiscopaleontologist and hate everything you stand for”. Brilliant, bravo, thanks for setting my sex life back some more. The article is great but if you’re making jokes about guys and how you shouldn’t talk to them then clean the tarnish from your kettle.

  4. Clement McBigglewaddle says:

    Yeah. Clearly a pretty hardcore Lesbian Separatist Agenda going on here. And any woman who takes issue with a man marinating in his privilege has ruined it for ALL male/female conversations EVER. How dare she. How will we ever talk about burgers now?

  5. Un-Irate Cait says:

    @Irate Cait – You really can’t blame Ally for your lack of game. Anyway, I thought all you girls did these days was bat your eyelashes and twirl your hair.

  6. Ally says:

    Irate Cait – Very sorry. To steal a turn of phrase from my girlfriend, I wasn’t aware that my 500 word limit articles were ruining your sex life. Every boy in the world is clearly just going to have to stay in his room masturbating for all time in case he is forced to justify his beliefs or examine his privilege when he leaves the house.

  7. Miller says:

    At least the world isn’t becoming too Mac.

  8. Lisa says:

    BURN. Ally you’re great.

  9. smackdown says:

    im offended ‘cos more ppl aren’t reading this column ally is ace ally is boss :-)

  10. Your Name says:

    “I fail to see how anything can ever be too politically correct…”

    How about this:-

  11. smackdown says:

    cool newspaper clipping bro i guess that myth’s busted!!!

  12. Your Name says:

    Sorry, that was actually a question, not an answer. I forgot to include a question mark. I know very little on these topics, but was wondering if it could be argued that that was an example of being too PC, or is it just an example of stupidity, or is it acceptable to arrest someone for singing Kung Fu fighting within earshot of two passing Chinese people?

    What about the several cases over the years of people getting fired in the US for using the word “niggardly”?

  13. GoodGravey says:

    Oh Ally – just too good. And a wonderful tonic to some of the crap I have been reading in MSM today.

    Di sent me this link, and extremely grateful for it.

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