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April 2, 2012 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Roxy Heart & Prudence Lovelock

Hi Roxy. I am in a bit of pickle: I am a high- performing student, with really big involvement in extra-curricular activities. I am by no means a genius, but I have really high grades and like to think of myself as being a smart guy. Now, here’s my problem: I dumped my last girlfriend because she was just too dumb. Yeah, I know it sounds really shallow, but I just don’t think
I can be in a relationship with someone who isn’t as smart as me. Is that wrong? Should I be more accepting?

– Please help me


Smart, and modest to boot! Roxy doesn’t hold it against you, though, having herself achieved a perfect GPA in the school of hard cocks. Anyway, putting aside the incredibly obvious insecurity you have about your intelligence, Roxy thinks you’re not actually acting in the wrong. It’s completely normal to want to be in a long term relationship with someone with whom you have things in common: that is what makes it relationship-material rather than simply a fuck buddy/friends with benefits scenario. So yeah, if you think that being “dumb” is a deal-breaker, that’s totally your prerogative.

This is a theme Roxy has dealt with a couple of times now, and it bears repeating. There is a strange tendency
in our society for people to deny their own feelings because they want to be “fair” to the other person. This means
that people stay in loveless or sexless relationships because they don’t think it’s okay for them to exit. The thing is, though, that staying in such a relationship, and pretending that it is what you want, is particularly unfair on the other person. It makes it much more likely you will lie or cheat when you have the opportunity. It also denies the other person the chance to meet someone who more genuinely appreciates them. In other words, it’s okay to have high standards, if those standards are genuinely what you require from a relationship.

Just remember, though, that having such high standards can limit your opportunities. You might be fine with that, but if not, it’s always good to be self- reflective about what truly matters and what doesn’t.

Love, Roxy <3


The other day I was watching a documentary called Idiocracy, and I have to say it really struck me how important eugenics is to the future of our society. I think that not only are you not ‘wrong’ for refusing to sully your advanced genetics with the chaff of the proletariat, I think you are actually fulfilling a moral duty to save Western civilisation as we know it.

Let me paint a picture for you. On one hand, we have the status quo, where people breed for ‘love’ and ’emotional connection’ and all other sorts of liberal propaganda. This world will eventually devolve into a morass of stunted pygmy tax-takers who sit there and cry for hand outs while our transcontinental trains begin to shut down. On the other hand, we have a world where people exercise a little prudence regarding who they make babies with. This world will have a permanent tory majority, all sorts of amazing technological marvels, and trains that run on time. I know which world I’d rather live in!

Of course, breeding isn’t the end of the matter. You also have to make sure your children grow up to be fighters. That’s why when my youngest was five, I sent him on an exciting Ugandan summer camp experience I saw advertised on the internet. Since he’s come back, he’s a changed person: sometimes when he’s mad I see the look of a true capitalist in his eyes. In fact, I have already enrolled him in Goldman Sachs’ internship programme.

xoxo Prudence.


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