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May 21, 2012 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Fictional Babe Of The Week

Patrick Verona

Patrick Verona earned a reputation among other students for being a dangerous loner. Habits including smoking and drinking
at biker bars did nothing to relax his peers. He reputedly spent a year in San Quentin State Penitentiary and ate a live duck–everything but the beak and feet. However, Verona’s tough-guy exterior was destined not to last, and after a public romance with notorious “shrew” Katerina Stratford, the mysteries began to fade.

He was spotted at feminist hotspot Club Skunk, and enlisted the school band for a performance of ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’. Many of the myths about his past have since been debunked, and the modern view is that Verona’s wildest exploits are more a reflection of Stratford’s proud independence. Despite her going on record to say that, among other things, she “hates [his] big dumb combat boots”, their relationship managed to weather allegations of corruption, until ending shortly after graduation, when Stratford inevitably left a destitute Verona in order to attend Sarah Lawrence College.

[ssba]

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