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September 10, 2012 | by  | in News | [ssba]

LOL News

“I’M LIKE A BIRD,” SAYS NELLY FURTARDO, VLADIMIR PUTIN

In his latest effort to become Russia’s answer to the Crocodile Hunter, President Vladimir Putin has made like a bird and… No really, he dressed himself up as a bird.

Last Thursday Putin took to the skies in a hang-glider, wearing a baggy white suit, in an effort to encourage a flock of endangered Siberian white cranes to fly south for the winter.

“For cranes, the parent is a man in a white robe,” explained project director Yuri Markintold.

The cranes, who were raised in captivity and therefore do not know how to fly south, followed Papa Putin on two of his three joy rides through the sky.

In high school I tied my hair into a bun on the front of my forehead in an effort

to emulate and befriend the quails in our garden. Excuse me while I call my mum about this story and a long-awaited “I TOLD YOU SO”.

A SHARK’S TALE

In an even stranger tale of human/animal interaction, a Japanese woman last week publicly expressed her desire to give birth to a shark, and then eat it.

Environmentalist Ai Hasegawa wishes to combine her dual desires to experience childbirth and eating a shark, without the overpopulation and overfishing consequences associated with the pursuits.

Science, Hasegawa believes, will come to her aid soon enough.

“A human uterus is just the right size to hold one fetus… I believe humans could use their uterus as an aquarium or incubator.”

Yum.

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