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March 25, 2013 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Do’s and Deities

Krishna:

Does believe in:
-peanut M&Ms
-Grindr
-unicorns
-Kafka
-spooning
-Game of Thrones

Doesn’t believe in:
-essay plans
-ASOS.com
-the size of the glass doors in the Hub
-Pat Walsh
-VUW Confessions
-the zeitgeist

Yahweh:

Does believe in:
-$1 shots
-Blanket Man
-Mount St (reluctant acceptance)
-drinking games
-The Lion King
-Beyonce

Doesn’t believe in:
-Richard Dawkins
-Hope Bros
-the cable car
-fire drills
-PayPal
-iMacs

Buddha:

Does believe in:
-Critic
-the Red Bull van
-Love Actually
-Pope Francis
-missing e
-pre-registering with Mighty River Holdings

Doesn’t believe in:
-hashtags on Facebook
-the Green party
-the census
-Pope Benedict
-pizza that’s too cold to eat
-earthquake proofing on Aro St
-that The Lion King is based on Hamlet

Allah:

Does believe in:
-the Newtown festival
-VicBooks coffee
-selfies
-Grimes
-preserving state assets
-iMacs

Doesn’t believe in:
-Australian politics
-Critic
-bus fares
-Hugh Grant’s career
-University bathrooms
plagiarism

God:

Does believe in:
-cat .gifs
-Rocky from Boy (and his magic powers)
-Christmas in October
-one-night stands
-Peter Dunn’s bowties
-JLaw

Doesn’t believe in:
-Australia
-pigeons
-the love in this club
-LAWS121
-StudyLink*
-religion

* Studylink kindly responded to Salient’s request for comment, stating that it too does not believe in God. (God has refuted this claim.)

 

[ssba]

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