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April 8, 2013 | by  | in News | [ssba]

LOL News

KoNy “KIDDINg ARouND”; u.S. goVT. NoT.

Facebook celebrity Joseph Kony is in the sights of the U.S. State Department, who have offered US$5 million for information leading to his arrest, transfer, or conviction. Kony runs the Lord’s Resistance Army, and is thought to have up to 42 children, 88 wives, and 30,000 child
soldiers. The rewards represents an upping of the ante for the U.S. Government’s Kony search, after they both liked and retweeted the KONY2012 video last year.

WEIgh up hIgh

Last week, Norwegian economist Bharat Bhatta suggested “pay as you weigh” airline pricing would bring health, financial and environmental dividends. Quick to take off on the idea was Samoa Air, who will become the first airline in the world to charge passengers by weight. Passengers will pay NZ$0.68 per kilo for domestic flights, and nZ$1.24 per kilo for international flights. According to the World Health Organisation 59.6 per cent of Samoans are obese—the fourth-highest rate in the world. As such, Salient suggests Samoan Air stocks are currently a wise investment.


Justin Bieber’s pet monkey has been detained by German customs, and will be given to a monkey shelter if Bieber does not sort the necessary paperwork in the next month. Yes, that is a real actual news event. Mally, a 14-week-old capuchin monkey, was “disoriented” according to officials, after being monkey-barred from the Deutsch state.


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:   Where are you from?  My list was always ready: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, puppy dogs’ tails, a little Spanish, maybe German, and—almost as an afterthought—half Samoan. An unwanted fraction.   But you don’t seem like a Samoan. I thought you were [inser

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