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March 8, 2015 | by  | in We Drank This So You Wouldn't Have To | [ssba]

Obikwa Cuvée Brut

Cost: $7.90

Alcohol Volume: 12 per cent

Pairing: White Cliff Pinot Gris, Fat Bird Sauvignon Blanc and a duck sandwich.

Verdict: ★★★½ “It’s quite nice; I’ll finish the bottle.”


To begin with this week, in the spirit of corporate sabotage, we’d like to share with you some tips on how You! Too! can enjoy a bottle of not-champagne for $7.90. We all know that promotional emails are annoying but we all also know that loyalty programmes have some great deals. For the socialist activists among us, the fucking evil nature of, say, Progressive Enterprises serves as another deterrent to joining up to some insidious card programme to get a discount on your quinoa. The solution to this, comrades, is to sign up to the programme with a fake email address, get the temporary card and get your deals! You’ll thank us when you’re sleeping drunk, happy, and free of complicity in the exploitation of the workers. Sort of.

So we did that and we got a bottle of Obikwa Cuvée Brut from the exotic Countdown in Newtown. It was Valentine’s Day so Lydia was crying a lot and Mitch was also crying but for unrelated reasons, mostly crushing ennui. Lydia’s tears were compounded by a particularly emotional elimination on the Great British Sewing Bee but we won’t get into that. The upshot of all this is that the Obikwa was both “fine” and “nice” so our spirits were considerably improved.

The flavour profile of this particular bottle of not-champagne could be summed up as “fizzy white wine that cost $7 so who’s counting right??!” It was easy on the palate, induced no involuntary spasms and remained inherently quaffable throughout the evening.

In a slightly bogan disclosure Lydia would like to express her love of Lindauer and in a slightly bougie disclosure Mitch admits that the last sparkling wine he drunk was Veuve.

Either way, the drinkability of the Obikwa was betrayed by the fact that we actually attempted to put the cork back in so we could carry it to another party. All in all, it was cheap and good and we recommend checking the Countdown website regularly.

P.S. We also sincerely hope that everyone got the sneaky champagne socialist joke in the first paragraph because it was great and the humour quality of these reviews is not going to get better from here, let’s be frank.


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