An ACT Party press release dated 12 March has revealed that “if it were legal, David Seymour would sell blood to fundraise for ACT”.
Political commentators are all in agreement the curious line gives an insight into the Purge-esque  neoliberal nightmare that Seymour and his party advocate for.
It appears the release is an attempt by the ACT Party, best known for its infinitesimal influence over government, to promote its ideal “society”: that which best facilitates the “free and open trade” of human organs.
Wellington’s singular local ACT party supporter, David Seymour Snr., defended the policy. When asked for comment, he said “what could possibly go wrong?”
It is not entirely clear if the release referred to Seymour’s own blood, or that of unwary travellers who cross the privately funded bridge the ACT Party leader calls home.

*Disclaimer: This is shit news.*