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May 14, 2018 | by  | in *News* | [ssba]

Fairer Fares Fails to Mitigate Mount Street Marathon

Salient can confirm that the extremely steep street which students are required to traverse in order to reach Kelburn Campus is still bloody steep, regardless of any public transport discounts.

When asked about Fairer Fares changes, an extremely sweaty third year student walking up Mount Street said “that’s cool… I guess”.
Salient spoke to the heavily panting 22 year old International Relations and Anthropology student, who expressed mild enthusiasm for VUWSA’s “Fairer Fares” scheme, which will reduce the cost of public transport for students. “I guess that’s useful if you catch the bus,” he said between gasps. “Hold up, let me get to the top of the hill,” he said before answering any more questions.
Salient spoke to a number of Commerce and Design students who indicated that they might have been more inclined to enrol in Humanities or Sciences if not for the strenuous walk up to Kelburn campus. It appears that the difficulty of the walk was a significant factor in students’ choices in area of study. One student even went as far to say “I was always interested in Art History in high school, but when I discovered how sweaty I got after the walk up to Kelburn, I immediately enrolled in Marketing”.
Salient reached out to VUWSA to enquire if they or the University had any plans for an escalator up Mount Street, or even some kind of magic carpet system. They confirmed that a 25% public transport discount for students is to be rolled out in July of this year, however no escalator or other Mount Street transportation systems are in the works.

*Disclaimer: This is shit news*

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