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September 24, 2018 | by  | in *News* Splash | [ssba]

Plastic Bag Ban Leads to Bruised Fruit Throughout the Country

Following Jacinda Ardern’s rise to power, single use plastic bags are being phased out nationwide.
While this is a step in the right direction towards repairing our Earth, many people are struggling to come to terms with the changes. Discarded and dropped produce is becoming a major issue in Wellington, with a noticeable increase in the amount of fruit flies swarming the various vegetables that have slipped out of shopper’s grasps and onto the streets.

The fruit flies are becoming more dangerous every day, with clouds of up to ten thousand swarming the pavements outside supermarkets during peak hours.
Without their reusable bags, many people are having to abandon their heavier items mid aisle. Countdown is in the process of hiring extra staff purely to cope with the issue of “relocation”. As one source tells us: “it’s been insane. People can’t carry everything, so they just abandon it wherever suits them. I found a steak behind a loaf of bread the other day – it’d been there for hours. It was moving.”
The flies are not the only issue however — frustrated shoppers are reporting a 30% increase in the amount of produce they are dropping, and a 50% decrease on the number of snacks their pudgy little hands can carry.
“How can we expect to maintain our place as the third most obese country in the world if we can only eat what we can carry in our hands?” said Brian Slough, supermarket goer.

*Disclaimer: This is shit news*


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