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September 24, 2018 | by  | in The Poo Review | [ssba]

The Poo Review

The VUW Poo Review is back for another week!
This column to identify the best and worst toilets on campus at Victoria, so you’ll know exactly where to run after that bad plate of Krishna Foods. Have a toilet you want reviewed, or want to contribute? Drop us a line at
Dear F. Scott Shitzgerald,
As someone who enjoys nothing more than finding a quiet, clean bathroom, (I have found a great many), I have one I would love to contribute — which could potentially ruin everything I once had going for me.
I am talking about the underdog of bathrooms — Level 2 female toilets in Te Toki a Rata block (TTR). Honestly, it’s wild because I think very few people have come across it (especially those who never have classes in that area). Also, you can knock one out in there (alone or with a special partner) and it’s no big deal.
Doesn’t usually smell like anything apart from a hint of soap (that’s before I’ve used it, mind you). Always very clean, would be spick and span with a wipe down at the end of the day. The rubbish bin is usually half to fully empty as well, which all up is a sure sign that this is the bathroom to be in. Not a shit stain in sight! This is the closest thing to the ideal female toilet fantasy.
Interior Design
Not a speck of graffiti on the wall. While it adds a sense of comfort to just read the back and forth arguments between permanent-marker warriors, it is also incredibly peaceful not to, because sometimes you put people’s voices to the commentary and it gets very distressing. Plus it is one less bathroom that our great cleaners have to deal with. If I wanted to read PSAs and insults, I would use the unisex toilets in the hub, TYVM.

Effectiveness of Facilities
Toilet paper, soap, and paper towels are always adequately topped up. Toilets have a strong flush, which is good for the lingering poo stripes — none of that weak shit, we’re not here to play. I can’t say a bad thing, this loo is up to standard. PLUS it is a NEW bathroom so the toilet seats are COMFORTABLE and can cater to all kinds of female ass, as well as being sturdy as heck.


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