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October 15, 2018 | by  | in *News* | [ssba]

Water Whirler Destruction Actually Council Funded Performance Art

A council source who wishes to remain anonymous, but let slip that their name rhymes with “Bustin Kester”, has recently contacted the Salient offices to inform the editorial staff that the destruction of Len Lye’s sculpture was actually a savvy display of council funded performance art.
The sculpture, which at the time of installation cost Wellington Council over $300,000, was broken last Tuesday after being swung on by brazen daredevil Hunter Macdonald. Many members of the public simply assumed Mr. Macdonald to be a local idiot doing something dumb. But the anonymous source, who insinuated that they are very high up in the WCC, has proved otherwise.
The anonymous source, hereafter referred to as Mr. Kester, has said that the whole thing was “just a bit of performance art”.
Mr. Kester has said that the council was approached by Mr. Macdonald, an up and coming performance artist, and they were extremely excited by the concept.
He says that, “Len Lye made no secret of the fact that the water whirler was meant to represent a gigantic ejaculating penis, flopping around in ecstatic climax. But those were different times back then. The patriarchy is a bit subtler now. So when we heard the idea for Hunter to climb up and break the, you know, the cock. Well we jumped on board straight away”. The performance set the Wellington City Council back $200,000 dollars.
Mr. Kester expressed surprise and derision towards the Wellington public saying they are “pretty stupid for not getting it”.

He states, “What’s so bloody hard to understand? Break the cock. It’s a feminist message. Women should be loving it”.

Len Lye could not be reached for comment.

*Disclaimer: This is shit news*

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