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March 4, 2019 | by  | in Fashion | [ssba]

This Year’s Trends

What would Eleven wear?

 

Season three of Stranger Things comes out this year, so we all know what that means: corduroy, overalls, and David Bain jumpers are going to be flying off the op-shop shelves faster than you can say “this article is not sponsored by Netflix but is definitely open to it, should that opportunity arise”. Start stockpiling vintage Levi’s now if you want to make a buck selling them to fashion-conscious Year 12s later this year.

 

Scrunchies, scrunchies, and more scrunchies

 

If you wore it to a primary school disco or got it in your BFF’s tenth birthday party goodie bag, it’s probably 2019’s hottest new look. Nothing like the terrifying realisation that you’re legally an adult to make your fashion sense regress 15 years and cause you to channel Hilary Duff in your accessory choices.

 

Ugly shoes get even uglier

 

A few years ago, a dramatic cultural shift took place as Birkenstock sandals entered the wardrobes of people other than Rudolph Steiner teachers and/or people who substitute sweet potato for bread. Now, the latest visual threat to claim the street has been revealed: Teva hiking sandals. Yep, the chosen footwear of Americans on half-hour scenic hikes—and that kid in primary school who would eat his own scabs—can now be seen on the trendy babes of Cuba Street. If you’re unfamiliar with these shoes, all you need to know is that a top Google autocomplete for them is “can you swim in Tevas”. Nothing aesthetically appealing has ever had to be made aquatically sound just for people to buy it.

 

Winter is coming… and it’s fluffy

 

We’ve all read the statistics telling us that “New Zealand has enough clothes to last the next 50 years without importing more; buy op shop, avoid fast fashion” etc (all very valid points; just not where I’m going with this). What isn’t said in those statistics is that at least ten of those 50 years factors is no other garment than those tan teddy bear fur coats that every single girl bought last year. Snag five of them for $50 at Recycle Boutique come July. Side note: No hate to anyone rocking these this winter, anyone wearing a coat other than a puffer jacket has my approval.

 

The wider the leg, the closer to God/Cher

 

You are lying if you try to say your highlight of 2018 was anything other than Mamma Mia 2, and for me, the highlight of Mamma Mia 2 was Cher in wide-leg pants. After years of low-rise jeans that only suited you if you were a member of Destiny’s Child, jeggings, and ripped jeans that took a quarter of an hour to get into, we finally have a trend that looks good on basically everyone, isn’t a form of leg torture, and is endorsed by Cher… What more could you need‽

 

Little House on the Prairie, but make it fashion

 

As seen on Oregon Trail Fashion Week S/S 1872: Straw bags, straw hats, gingham, denim on denim on denim, and ruffles on everything. With the political climate as it is, there is an ever-present risk that the rights of women, racial minorities and queer people are about to be dragged straight back to the frontier, so dress appropriately! Oxen optional.

 

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