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April 1, 2019 | by  | in Ask Agatha | [ssba]

Ask Sissy – Sex

I’m having a difficult time making friends at Vic. I’ve been having a hard time breaking into any friend groups or making any substantial friendships and feeling very isolated here.


I have tried to join clubs, talk to people at different events, and reach out to those in close proximity. People are friendly and willing to chat you up but impossible to stay in contact and make a solid connection. I tried to reach out, but people seemed to not be responsive and assume I have others who are taking care of me. I’m just hoping for a friend to eat lunch with —is it that difficult?


Relatable! It took me four years of uni before I found my coffee pal—I feel you!


You are doing a great job of putting yourself out there! Cultivating a new friendship can involve a lot of work—this is why so many of us end up watching Netflix with our cat on a Friday night (shoutout to Alfie).


Take the lead and be vulnerable. Invite potential chums out for coffee/lunch and be honest about how it’s been difficult to make new friends at uni. After meeting up, build on that connection by sharing links to articles/memes/YouTube clips/dogs etc. Invite them to meet again. Build intimacy through a strategic use of emojis and hashtags #friends.


Don’t be disheartened if friendships take a little time to develop. You are already doing an excellent job of seeking friendship opportunities. I bet there are lots of people feeling the same way but who haven’t had the confidence to join clubs or talk to new people at events. Making new friends is a common struggle, even if it appears to come easily to other people. Be kind to yourself, you’re doing great! X


Need advice? I want to support you! Send your queries and concerns to (strict anonymity assumed unless you specify otherwise).



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