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AuthorLemon Cohen

Author Archive: Lemon Cohen

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October 2, 2006

Part of the reason I went flatting, thus escaping my parents’ baroque mansion in Kelburn, was so that I could live my own life by my own rules. Flatting has given me many freedoms: freedoms such as wearing a leather jacket inside out, not observing my own dietary needs, and going to lectures when I […]

February 28, 2005

By now you will have realised that the Mount St Cemetary has been overrun by hordes of stoners, underage whores, paedophiles, corporate types, necrophiliacs, and other unwholesome sorts, not to mention vampires.

February 21, 2005

Hello again fair ladies and gentlemen of Victoria University, I am glad to see you alive and well! As some of you may recall, last year I promised would be the last ever appearance of Lemon Cohen, but I’m afraid those of you who believed me have been subjected to a cruel hoax, you gullible […]

April 26, 2004

Lemon was sitting in a boring tutorial. The tutor was going on about some crappy crap. Suddenly, Lemon couldn’t take it anymore.

April 5, 2004

This week I bought my first dildo. It was a “present” for a “friend”, or so I told the sex store attendant, who didn’t seem to care anyway. Actually I just wanted one for the novelty of it.

March 15, 2004

I think that if there’s one lesson students everywhere can benefit from learning, it’s how not to get fucked by the police.

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