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Tag: The Idiot’s Guide To Life

July 16, 2007

So guys, welcome back to reading! That’s a past time that I’m sure you didn’t take advantage of during the holidays. Come to think of it, what did you idiots get up to? If you’ve been reading our column, you know you didn’t need to waste your time studying! I’ve just realised that I left […]

July 9, 2007

So you got into trouble, didn’t you idiot? You somehow managed to stumble your way through most of the semester, making noodles whenever hungry, and finding friends at every opportunity, and yet you faced your biggest hurdle – exams. Because of this, I thought that I would take time out of my busy schedule and […]

May 28, 2007

Good morning students! And good evening idiots! I base that greeting safely secure in the knowledge that most idiots will have taken around 12 hours to read this far into Salient. Twelve hours is half a day. Or one sleep for an idiot. Over the past weekend I have had none. You see I took […]

May 21, 2007

I have just recently returned from a weekend excursion I took to the southern city of Dunedin (pronounced June-Din). That means I wasn’t home when you came round, and you probably shouldn’t have camped out on my doorstep, but you did, and that’s why you’re an idiot. If only you knew of some way to […]

May 14, 2007

I bet you picked up this week’s Salient and just couldn’t wait to find out what you could learn from me today. Well good. Today, you will learn how to make friends.

May 7, 2007

You know, I’m proud of you. I really am. You’re still learning from this column. You’ve taken the first step. Realising you’re an idiot is a big step. By now, you know that when you ask a question in your lecture, everybody else is laughing at you because – yes, it is a stupid question.

April 30, 2007

If you’re reading this, you have two things going for you: 1. You’ve hopefully learnt to read; 2. You’re probably enrolled at University.

April 23, 2007

Hunger. This occurs in the stomach and is probably caused by food goblins. To explain it in true B grade horror style, it’s what happens when your stomach begins to eat itself! What can you do about it? No, other than eat yourself?

March 26, 2007

So, you’re an idiot. Congratulations. By reading this column you’re already putting yourself ahead of the game. Over the coming weeks we will seek to assist you in understanding the simpler things in life. Remember that life is a tale told by an idiot, so just because you’re an imbecile, this doesn’t mean you can’t […]

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