Viewport width =
May 27, 2006 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Better Things to Put in Your Mouth than Chuppa-Chups

1. Starbursts
2. Roosters
3. Your thumb
4. Your best friend’s thumb
5. Yo’ Momma!

Most Sacred Things to North Islanders

1. Palmerston North
2. Coffee
3. Maoris
4. The Cook Strait
5. The Sky Tower

Needed Public Holidays

1. Steak and Blow-Job Day
2. Baggy Clothes Day
3. Catch a Nigger by the Toe Day
4. J-Day (VUWSA, you know what to do)
5. 27th of March Remembrance Day

Most Sacred Things to South Islanders

1. Shrek
2. The National Front
3. Rain
4. Incest
5. Yellow Eyed Penguins

Reasons why David Parker’s resignation came as such a shock

1. Lawyers aren’t crooks
2. We hadn’t won a gold medal at the Commonwealth Games for a while
3. It wasn’t David Benson-Pope
4. We’re actually falling for National’s holier-than-thou schtick
5. It was the same day David

Ways to Scam the Student Loan System

1. Borrow to the max and invest
2. Get someone else i.e the government to pay your university fees
3. A BCA
4. Be a student for the rest of your life. It’s a good little income.
5. It’s interest free! Spend it on something nice

Real-life cartoons that are potentially more offensive than the Mohammed cartoons

1. Holocaust cartoons
2. Aborto, the human foetus (he has a bowler hat)
3. The 50 funniest moments in kiddie porn
4. Garfield – How the fuck did Jim Davis pimp out the same joke for the last 35 years?
5. South Park


1. Arnie
2. The National Party
3. Rugby passes
4. Religion
5. Special Olympic Games throwing events

Top 5 short people

1. Michael J. Fox
2. Frodo
3. Napoleon
4. Mother Theresa
5. Danny DeVito

Crap Religions

1. Scientology
2. Judaism
3. The rest of them


About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. VUW Halls Hiking Fees By 50–80% Next Year
  2. The Stats on Gender Disparities at VUW
  3. Issue 25 – Legacy
  4. Canta Wins Bid for Editorial Independence
  5. RA Speaks Out About Victoria University Hall Death
  6. VUW Hall Death: What We Know So Far
  8. New Normal
  9. Come In, The Door’s Open.
  10. Love in the Time of Face Tattoos

Editor's Pick

Uncomfortable places: skin.

:   Where are you from?  My list was always ready: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, puppy dogs’ tails, a little Spanish, maybe German, and—almost as an afterthought—half Samoan. An unwanted fraction.   But you don’t seem like a Samoan. I thought you were [inser

Do you know how to read? Sign up to our Newsletter!

* indicates required