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July 17, 2006 | by  | in Features | [ssba]

We have Problems too: The Men’s Movement

Masculism, Pro-feminism, Liberation and Mythopoeticism for Idiots

Society Labeled me as Violent, and Then Took My Kids: A Jerry Bruckheimer short film.

The movie begins in a crowded pub. Four men sit around drinking, two drink water with a splash of lime, one drinks a Cosmopolitan and the other sips gingerly on a beer. They all look very unsure of themselves…

MAN #1: Anyone going to the rugby in the weekend?

This is met by a chorus of resounding “Nos” from the other three,.

MAN#2: It’s socially limiting isn’t it? All that aggressiveness and violence with the players all muscular and built, I’m just not comfortable with it. It plays into the idea of men as desirable success objects, encourages kill-or-be-killed instincts.

MAN#3: I’d like to walk right up to Richie McCaw, hit him across the face and say “stop objectifying men and creating such bloody narrow gender roles you right twat!”

MAN#4: (Sighs deeply.) Must we hit? It’s so base, it just screams out “cave man complex”. As a man, I resent that.

MAN#1: begins to sob openly.

MAN#2: Oh you poor wee fellow. What’s up teddy bear?

MAN#1: Just problems with the wife.

MAN#2: Women, so empowered and lucky. Make up less than ten percent of the homeless, suicide victims, prisoners, alcoholics and drug-users.

MAN#3: Let us not forget the higher life expectancy, and higher rates of university attendance.

MAN#1: I came home from work, right? And I mean it’s bad enough that she gets to stay at home and look after the kids. Why do I have to be the breadwinner? And then get this, she says to me: “come on honey, let’s pop to the bedroom for some sex, and then let us eat this dinner I made for you while I was at home and you were at work.” So I was all like “must you continually simplify my needs?” Society labels us as two-dimensional. We’re screwed.

He continues to sob.

A swelling orchestra wells up in the background as the camera pans out over the four sad and socially alienated faces. The credits finish, and a message flashes up.

“If you or anyone you know is getting physically owned by their partner, night in, night out – you do not have to tolerate it. Dubious scientific statistics show that not only are woman aggressive and violent, they are kicking the crap out of feminised men everywhere. Take action, TODAY!”


Some of the concepts in today’s feature may seem a little foreign to a rational audience. And don’t feel bad about that. As people informed by a feminist dominated media you may be confused and led to believe that men have it pretty good. But woman are, according to most scientists, evil. According to a scientist quoted by Peter Zohrab, they are unable to digest common logic! But to greater grip the issues at the core of today’s movie, here are some terms you could benefit from knowing.

Glossary of understanding
Dirty, brainwashed, girl-dominated men. Traitors. Believe that as men, they must work on the current way that ‘masculinity’ is constructed, as men are hurting women and themselves. Easily as reprehensible as the French, these people agree with ideas of the men’s movement, but take responsibility for the gender stereotypes, rather than questioning them. Especially focused around homophobia and hetero-centrism.

MEN’S LIBERATION: Supporters of men’s liberation believe that man’s role in society is extremely damaging to men. Men are over-worked and limited in their options. They are sympathetic to those dastardly pro-feminists, but believe that men are trained by ‘society’ to act this way. And thus apparently it is not their fault. Not quite as bad as the French, probably something akin to the Dutch i.e. harmless, but just a bit silly.

MYTHOPOETIC MEN’S MOVEMENT: Focus on the above two, with an emphasis on psychoanalysis and a focus on the subconscious – curing these destructive patterns that are ingrained in men by society, or a female dominated society (whoever you side with). They emphasise such crazy ideas such as mentoring systems, therapy and youth programs over more reliable methods such as storming Buckingham Palace dressed up as superheroes.

MASCULISM: The big one, and the one that’s been making headlines recently. Just a bunch of good ol’ dudes, hanging out, kicking back and hitting out at the structural oppression of a female dominated world. Men are expected to be the way they are, and then women lie through their teeth and run off with their kids. Men are objectified through expectations of success.


About the Author ()

James Robinson is a university dropout turned journalist who likes to pretend he has an honours degree. Turn ons include soup, scarfs, a hot bath and some FM-smooth Kenny G-esque instrumental jazz. Turn offs include student politicians, the homeless, and people who pronounce it supposebly.

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