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February 26, 2007 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Sexual milestones:

  1. Losing your virginity
  2. Losing someone else’s virginity
  3. Sleeping with two different people in a day
  4. Having a ‘lost weekend’ and doing enough to fill a Top Fifty list
  5. Lying about all of the above to your children

Blatant rip-offs of the bucket fountain:

  1. Hyde Park’s Diana Fountain
  2. Vancouver’s Gastown steam clock
  3. Belgium’s Manneken Pis
  4. Versailles’ Fountain of Apollo
  5. Niagara Falls

First Year Pick Up Lines:

  1. Do you have a myspace?
  2. Do you prefer BK or MC’D’s?
  3. My Mum’s got these earings…
  4. Are you from my 100 level history class?
  5. So…bone?

Tawa Pastimes:

  1. Worship
  2. Hanging out at Dressmart
  3. Taking the kids to Chipmunks
  4. Waiting for Avon
  5. Waiting for the Mormons

University Role Models:

  1. Rory from Gilmore Girls
  2. Bill Gates (dropped out of Harvard)
  3. Albert Einstein (never went to university)
  4. Brandon from Beverly Hills 90210
  5. Chris LaMonica
[ssba]

About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

Comments (3)

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  1. Nathaniel Hornblower says:
    February 26, 2007 at 11:52 am

    …Tumbleweed….

  2. Jono Newton says:
    February 28, 2007 at 7:08 pm

    god they get worse

  3. Andrew Spalding says:
    March 1, 2007 at 4:39 pm

    Did you guys forget to publish the punchlines or something?

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