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April 2, 2007 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Ask Becci

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and everything was going great until I discovered that I was pregnant. I haven’t told my boyfriend yet as a lot of our friends have recently begun settling down and he has shown reservations about getting married and having a family while he’s still young. I already know I want to keep the baby. How do I tell my boyfriend he’s going to be a father?

Becci replies: There really isn’t a right way to tell someone that they’re going to be a parent, but I believe the best thing in this situation would be to tell your boyfriend face to face. It’s generally not the sort of thing you just drop into an everyday conversation, (“The weather is good today… by the way- I’m pregnant!”) so tell him you need to talk, and make sure you have his full attention – i.e, not when he’s watching T.V or playing on his games console. If you’re worried he’s going to freak out, maybe you could suggest going out to a restaurant, and tell him over your meal? If it’s finding the right words that you are struggling with, maybe you’d feel more comfortable preparing and practicing a speech? You don’t have to stick to it word for word, of course, but it may help you keep your cool; you could start by telling him how happy you are with him, and how much you love him and go from there. And if telling him straight up seems too daunting, perhaps you could try telling him everything you’re feeling in a letter? Although it may not be as personal as telling him to his face, it’s still much more personal than saying it in a text message or email. Plus, that way your boyfriend has time to read and reread the letter as many times as he needs, and give himself time for the news to sink in before he talks to you about it. Good luck!

My boyfriend is obsessed with his Xbox to the point where I might as well be invisible. I’ve tried everything to get his attention short of throwing the stupid thing out of the window – and throwing my boyfriend with it! Help!

Becci replies: I think it’s a well-known fact that whenever a new games console is released, half the population are queuing up outside the shops at 3am on the release date, while the other half are mourning the loss of their partner and resigning themselves to becoming the latest console widows! Throwing both your boyfriend and his Xbox out of the window may seem like a very tempting option right now, but trust me – it will not end well! Your boyfriend will never forgive you for one thing, and he’ll probably just go out and buy a replacement Xbox anyway. I’m not sure what things you’ve already tried to get his attention, but have you suggested playing one of the Xbox games with him? That means that you get to spend time with him, and if you beat him he could either lose interest because his manly pride has suffered a blow, or keep challenging you to a rematch – and if you’ve got him begging you for a rematch, then you’ve got his attention! Of course, if that fails you could just trip a fuse, blow the power, and seduce him with a candlelit dinner for two before he has a chance to fix anything!

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