Viewport width =
May 21, 2007 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Ask Becci

I have been dating a guy for a few weeks now, and I really like him. The thing is, I’m from a very big family who expect me to bring home (for a big family dinner) every guy I date, the minute I start dating him. But my boyfriend and his family are completely different: his sister has only just introduced her boyfriend to their parents, and they have been dating for three years. How do I keep my family happy (because they are constantly asking to meet my boyfriend), without scaring my boyfriend away by thinking I’m rushing him into a long-term relationship? I’m not sure I’m ready for a big family dinner with my boyfriend either.

This can’t be an easy situation for you – on the one hand, you have your family who you love and respect, who you want to keep happy, and who ultimately have your best interests at heart in wanting to meet your boyfriend and give him the once over. But on the other hand you have a boyfriend you really like, that you haven’t been with for very long, who you don’t want to scare away. You say you’re not ready to invite your boyfriend over for a big family dinner and ‘throw him in at the deep end’ as it were, but have you actually told your family this, and had a chance to discuss it with them? You could explain that you understand their desire to meet him, and their reasons behind it, but that the relationship is still very new to you, and you don’t want to feel like you’re rushing into anything. If they don’t understand where you’re coming from, maybe you could try to compromise and find the happy middle-ground? You’re not comfortable having your boyfriend over for a family dinner, but maybe he could pick you up for a date at your parent’s house, and your family could get a chance to meet him briefly before your date? That way (if you’re worried that your family is going to start interrogating your boyfriend, or start a marathon chat session for example) you can control how long your family get to spend talking to your boyfriend, by saying that you have dinner reservations or movie tickets for a certain time. Although it’s important to try and keep our family and loved ones happy and at peace, the important thing to remember is to not do something you’re not comfortable with, simply to appease them. At the end of the day, the decision to introduce your boyfriend to your parents is yours – and perhaps your boyfriend’s!

I recently saw a mouse running around the house I share with my boyfriend. I don’t like mice, and now I’m constantly wondering where the mouse is and what it’s doing. I hate the thought of a disease ridden rodent running around my house, and maybe getting into my food or my bed, and I’m terrified of lifting something or putting on my shoes only to have it jump out at me. My boyfriend suggested we buy a mousetrap, but they all seem very inhumane and messy. Is there an easy, non-messy, humane yet effective way of getting rid of mice? Any advice or information would be a big help.

Unfortunately there are no real humane ways of killing a mouse – however, some methods are much more humane than others. Typing “humane mouse traps” into an Internet search engines comes up with around 1,310,000 results for different sites with different products and information. Although many of these products are from overseas, delivery is an option if you have a credit card. The product that stood out for me was the Rat Zapper – it might not sound particularly humane, but it’s easy, non-messy, you don’t have to see or touch the dead rodent, and it’s reusable. Also, if you own your house, or you are allowed pets in your flat, perhaps you could consider getting a cat to ward away any mice that might find their way into your home in the future?

Have a problem? Need advice? E-mail All questions will remain anonymous.


About the Author ()

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. VUW Halls Hiking Fees By 50–80% Next Year
  2. The Stats on Gender Disparities at VUW
  3. Issue 25 – Legacy
  4. Canta Wins Bid for Editorial Independence
  5. RA Speaks Out About Victoria University Hall Death
  6. VUW Hall Death: What We Know So Far
  8. New Normal
  9. Come In, The Door’s Open.
  10. Love in the Time of Face Tattoos

Editor's Pick

Uncomfortable places: skin.

:   Where are you from?  My list was always ready: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, puppy dogs’ tails, a little Spanish, maybe German, and—almost as an afterthought—half Samoan. An unwanted fraction.   But you don’t seem like a Samoan. I thought you were [inser

Do you know how to read? Sign up to our Newsletter!

* indicates required