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May 21, 2007 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Blind Dating


Okay. So the blind date was sweet as.

I skated down to the Establishment at 7pm, only to walk into a bar full of girls (Wednesday night, free bubbles). When I made my way upstairs, a European guy took my board and hood, and directed me to the lone hotty situated at the corner candle-lit table.

After the mandatory, “what’s your name, what’s your story, what do you study?” was out of the way, we ordered two set menus ($29 for starter, main and dessert) and a few bevvies. Jane Doe was a really nice and interesting chick, who, luckily, was more nervous than I was. Since we were both hungers as when the food arrived, we chowed down.

From then on, the conversation flowed (as did the wines and rum). To be honest, it was a relief to have an intellectual with a total stranger. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn from one another.

The night took a twist when she randomly lost her earring and got on all fours searching the floor. I offered her some drunken assistance, which proved fruitless. She realised her ear was bleeding so, displaying great chivalry, I saved the day by getting a napkin to mop that shit up. We went for a couple of durries (she only smokes socially) and the conversation was booming at this point. She realised who I was and informed me that not only did she go to high school with my little sister, but that her Mummy went to school with my Daddy. Small world, huh?

When the tab had reached a balance of about $70, I went and got a tray of Jaeger shots (and a few doubles) to conclude what had been a sweet as night. We left Estab, walked and talked, then parted with a kiss. I got a sixer and hit up the boys for what became an apocalyptic Wednesday.

Word of advice for future daters: be straight up, get pissed, and make the most of the tab because it does run dry.

Thanks to Salient for hooking me up with a fit intellectual and big ups to the Establishment for $200 worth of food and drink, impeccable service and that round of tequila shots Andrew the manager shouted us!


A blind date is a slightly contrived thing to do, isn’t it? Especially when you have to do a 350-word write up about it the next morning. With a hangover. On the other hand; the prospect of a free meal, free drinks and free company was too good to pass up. I told myself (in the justification-of-everything way that I do) that however it turned out, it would be a valuable life experience. Everyone likes valuable life experiences! And so I set off for The Establishment; slightly excited, slightly apprehensive and mentally building up my psychic defences in case I’d been set up with an empty-headed misogynist, or a physics student with no dress sense or personal hygiene.

Fortunately, my date wasn’t a complete disaster of a human being. In fact, he was quite nice and the night went reasonably well. The food was good, the alcohol flowed freely (I second last week’s blind daters’ advice to get the set menu – it leaves copious leftover money for drinks!) and we made entertainingly random conversation about everything from shitty corporate punk pop, to David Bain’s acquittal, to the silliness of New Zealand Sign Language (the BA half of his BA/LLB involves Deaf Studies). We also soon realised that his (strange and estranged) father is good friends with my mum, after he mentioned that his sister went to my high school in Year 9. I didn’t know whether to find that embarrassing or hilarious. It just goes to show how small and incestuous this country really is. You’re never more than a couple of degrees of separation from anybody else.

Things got even sillier when El Presidente Geoff showed up (unfortunately looking a lot less like Mr T than I was expecting, but such is life). Those exec members get around!

All in all it was a good night. We had a laugh. I lost part of an earring.

He’s not really my type of guy, but it was fun all the same. A toast, then, to Jagermeister, to random connections and, most of all, to blind dating!


About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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