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May 21, 2007 | by  | in News | [ssba]

University Stock Market

Vic Senior Communications Adviser Antony Paltridge drops 31 points this week for hiding a stand of Salients around a dark and spooky corner where no one would find them. Paltridge drops a further 12 points for bringing this to Salient’s attention, saying he was frustrated at the declining readership of the University’s own ‘Victorious’.

Student Union management also took a drop this week, after it was revealed that numerous hidden cameras may be operating in the Student Union Building, and that at least one person has been recorded whilst getting changed.

VUWSA Clubs Officer Melissa Barnard rose 14 points this week after setting an unofficial world record for pouring three bottles of beer at one time with her cleavage. The record was set at her shortlist interview to win a Speights competition to become a muppet on a ship full of beer.


About the Author ()

With her take-no-prisoners, kick-ass attitude, former News Editor Laura McQuillan adequately makes up for her lack of stature. Roaming the corridors (and underground tunnels) of the University by day, and hunting vampires and Nazi war criminals by night, McQuillan will stop at nothing to bring you the freshest news.

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