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March 17, 2008 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Top 5 reasons to be a nerd

1. All the chicks
2. LAN parties
3. World of Warcraft
4. Understanding Stephen Hawking
5. Correcting mistakes on the internet

Top 5 Theories

1. String
2. Evolution
3. Gravity
4. Quantum Electrodynamics
5. Joel Cosgrove is a capitalist

Top 5 scientific discoveries

1. The earth is flat
2. The female orgasm
3. E = mc2
4. The Moon: not actually made of cheese
5. Joel Cosgrove is a capitalist

Top 5 Aliens

1. Thetans
2. ET (insert Jew joke)
3. Klingons
4. Chewbacca
5. Pope Benedict XVI

Top 5 answers to ‘Hey guys, what’s funny?’

1. Racism
2. Silence
3. Silence
4. Silence
5. Nervous shuffle

Top 5 reasons you should come write top 5s for us

1. We blatantly suck
2. We’ve been drinking meths
3. I fucking can’t take this shit any more. I quit.
4. Silence
5. We can only think of Joel Cosgrove jokes


About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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