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April 7, 2008 | by  | in Online Only | [ssba]

From our Northern Brethren: Facsimile = Student Media Progress

Last week, VUWSA was faxed a penis. Actually it was faxed to Salient, but since we have no facsimile machine it reached VUWSA, ha. Anyway, it turns out this penis is part of Auckland Uni mag Craccum‘s attempts to move student media into the future – much like what we’re doing with this blog. To invite a comparison of student media advancements, I now print Craccum‘s facsimile press release in full:

  • Fax to the Future: Craccum enters the 21st Century
    By Jason Lumley

    An intensive I.T. rollout of new and exciting technology is promising to revolutionise the way Craccum communicates with its fellow student press correspondents and the world outside the University.

    The launch of Craccum’s facsimile communications network will allow Craccum reporters to communicate with student journalists across New Zealand, and also allow them to receive bulletins from the Aotearoa Student Press Association newswire as fast as their paper-tray refilling abilities allow.

    At a special simultaneous unveiling and ribbon-cutting ceremony held in the Craccum offices on Wednesday, Craccum Editor Daniel Sloan said that the voluntary student association model had not been kind to Craccum, but now the magazine was “right up with other student publications in this country in terms of technology at our disposal.”

    The launch was not without its hitches. After activating the network, there were some fears that the facsimile machine (referred to by geeks as a ‘fax’) may have triggered an international release of Skynet, possibly causing the start of Judgement Day, as demonstrated in the futuristic documentary series Terminator.

    Craccum Books Editor Sam Finnemore was concerned enough to suggest the machine be removed, and his concerns were not allayed when the machine printed out a message reading “Error Code 40: Cannot Connect With Missile Silo. Please Consult User’s Manual.”

    Another hiccup also occurred when it was discovered that the machine had somehow sent a ‘Breaking Paul Buchanan News’ story to Victoria University student magazine Salient. However, the ‘fax’ arrived in the VUWSA offices with a giant drawing of a penis attached instead.

    Editor Daniel Sloan rang Salient to apologise for the incident, which he later commented was “almost certain to have been caused by a security breach from outside the magazine” and that it would be most out of character for Craccum to engage in such reckless use of advanced technology.

    Salient however took the incident in their stride, and informed Craccum that students submissions of penis drawings were not uncommon. Salient Editor Tristan Egarr did however express concern that while the penises received from students were usually quite cartoonish, the drawings of vulvas received by Salient tended to be rather graphic. Craccum apologises unreservedly for any offence this may have caused VUWSA or Salient.

    Sloan informs us that all security issues with the ‘fax’ machine have been resolved, and Craccum is currently assessing a system called UseNet, although any roll-out would not take place until at least mid 2011.

    Craccum Penis

  • About the Author ()

    Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

    Comments (4)

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    1. peteremcc says:

      It didn’t happen to arrive on Tuesday morning did it?

    2. Brunswick says:

      First message sent by telephone: “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you”, 1876.
      First person on TV: William Edward Taynton, 1925.
      First message sent by Craccum’s facsimile communications network : a big ol’ wing-wang, 2008.

    3. I like the rendering around the testicals, oh wait… it might be pubical hair.

    4. Lol says:

      Hahaha, Craccum has a small wanger

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