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July 14, 2008 | by  | in Online Only | [ssba]

Fuck people complain a lot

Today 6000 copies of Salient arrived as per usual, but with the pages out of order. So we put them in the recycling bin and the printers promised to send a new batch tomorrow. I decided I should let people know why their favourite (nah jokes) Monday morning reading material wasn’t ready for them by putting a sign up by some of the main distribution points, saying “Why no Salient today? ‘cos the printers fucked up. They’ll be here tomorrow.”

However, despite the fact that the magazine is full of cuss words, “fucked” turns out to be unacceptable language; someone ripped the signs down and laid a complaint with VUWSA, so I had to put up new signs containing the word “f*d”.

This got me thinking about how people complain about shit that doesn’t matter, probably because they have nothing to do. I then went back to the office and opened up The Dominion Post when, lo and behold, what do I see but an article about the Iranian embassy bitching about the film fest.

As the article explains, the Iranian embassy is “irate” that the Iranian animated feature Persepolis distorts history, “especially Iran’s revolution and the role of people in it”. What am I to make of this? Were there no people involved in the revolution? Was it carried out by cyborgs? Well I guess those cyborgs trained people to bitch and moan good.

p.s. As you can see by this post, I also enjoy complaining about shit. And swearing. Fuck yeah.


About the Author ()

Tristan Egarr edited in 2008. He threw a chair once.

Comments (31)

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  1. Brunswick says:

    Many people complain about the small things because the big things are too hard to deal with. And as for Persepolis -thank you, Iranian Embassy, some weeks ‘Jitterati’ just writes itself.

  2. Jackson Wood says:

    What I thought in my head when I heard the printers fucked up.

    I also thought “fuck” was acceptable in common parlance these days. Shit even the Queen says”fuck” these days:

    Prince Philip: “Pass the butter dear?”
    Queen Elizabeth: “Fuck you, you nazi!”

    I used to work for Telecom. It was a pretty shite job just because of all the stupid complaints we’d get. Example:
    JJW: How can I help you
    Customer: Oh my phone doesn’t work, I want a new one and I want it now.
    JJW: Right, what seems to be the problem with it?
    Customer: Does it matter, I have a warrenty and I want it replaced right now.
    JJW: Well you see warrenty does……
    Customer: I don’t want your fucking lip sunshine

    It generally turns out that they have taken the phone for a swim or nail gunned it to a coffee table.

    The point is: We live in an age of technological marvels. It is totally mind boggling that we have such awesome technology. Technology that allows us to print pictures of penises and the word “fuck” many times, that allows us to communicated wirelessly, or electronically like on here. Yet when something goes wrong, our perception of all this amazingness is not, woah, this thing that a human has created is falliable, it is get this mother fucker fixed right now.

    We seem to treat technology as heaven sent, and we don’t take the time to think that 100 years ago we had none of this, and all the crap they relied on 100 years ago probably broke too.

  3. Naly D says:

    Just because Salient contains swear words doesn’t mean their advertisements can. People who have problems with such language may not read the magazine, but by putting it on notices you’re taking that choice away from them.

    By your arguement, Sky screens pornography, so why not put it on free-to-air (whoops, Prime has that covered).

  4. I have no problem with free to air pornography. But then I’m the sort of person who pays for it anyway, so I probably cannot judge.

  5. Persepolis was good as. Even more so coz of the free alcohol and goody bags and when Haimona put the cheese and crackers in his bag for me and Stacey to eat. Nom nom nom

  6. Salient is a student magazine, at a fucking university. If people are too precious to accept that fact, then they need to go to a polytechnic or something. Universities are supposed to be places where norms are questioned, rules are broken, and people generally engage in all kind of anti-establishment, counter culture fuckery. There’s a long standing tradition of student media pushing boundaries. But fuck, putting a swear word on a memo, that bridge was crossed years ago… Some people need to take a chill pill. Go see Tristan, I hear he has some.

  7. Michael Oliver says:

    Just because Salient contains swear words doesn’t mean their advertisements can. People who have problems with such language may not read the magazine, but by putting it on notices you’re taking that choice away from them.

    Oh yeah, imagine having to carry the cross of seeing an A4 piece of paper with the word “fuck” written on it with modest handwriting and blue whiteboard marker.

  8. Hey man, what if your MUM saw that?

  9. j says:

    lol fuk is used everywhere like wana fuk??

  10. James Malthus says:

    So is grammar…

  11. Naly D says:

    Conrad, what about the mature students who may be bringing their children on campus?
    Or as Laura said, parents

  12. Superior Mind says:

    Oh please, parents swear around their kids all the time, they’re only kidding themselves if they say they don’t. My parents used to always swear around me; in fact I believe that my first “proper” sentence, “I shit my bloody nappies”, is proof that at least in my household swearing was free and easy. I consider myself privelaged.

    You think I joke; ask my Mum, she remembers it well.

    It is true that people will complain about anything though, there’s nothing you can do about it. No matter what you do you’ll always find someone who’s sufficiently offended by it to complain. Best thing to do is just roll your eyes and do what it takes to shut them up – unless you have some time to kill and some frustrations to vent.

  13. Zombies Are Awesome. says:

    Naly D you need to get a life and stop complaining about everything on this website. Do you leave the computer? I hear scrabulous on facebook is a perfect alternative to face-to-face human contact, and somewhat more entertaining/ less frustrating to those of us who aren’t apparently some sort of fundamentalist.

    Geez, take yr conservative bullshit away from here and go teach a sex-ed class or something.

  14. Yeah I was joking.. It’s Michael Oliver – nothing’s serious when it involves him!

  15. Jackson Wood says:

    “by putting it on notices you’re taking that choice away from them.”

    You always have the choice to be offended. Whether it is foul language, or transexuals walking down the street (if you are offended by that) or religious people wearing symbols, the list goes on about what people could possibly be offeneded by.

    We live in a society that cherishes free speech and the amount of free speech is at cacophonous levels, one thinks it would be easy to drown out all the stuff you don’t want to hear or see with all the other stuff you do want to see. i.e. If you don’t read Salient because you are offened by the contents, why would you be looking at the place from which Salients are dispensed. You could look at the clouds, or the wall, or if you did catch a glimpse of it, you coudl think to yourself, “Well that is why I don’t read that shit. Oh piss I swore to myself. Fuck, I did it again. Deary me.”

    The point is, you should be thinking about why you are offended rather than just be offended.

  16. Michael Oliver says:

    I’m offended beyond reproach and the BIG BOSS of the internet should take this awful website down

    – Michael’s Mom posting from Michael’s comp

  17. Michael Oliver says:

    Get off the f$&#king comp, Mom.

  18. THEATRON says:

    As you may have seen, in my letter this week I talk about the way students complain more. I see this as being a vitally important part of being a fucking student. We all secretly see ourselves as slightly more liberal as the person next to us, by wearing a stupid fucking hat, or some stupid fucking shoes. So when I saw Tristan had put up signs with “f*d” on them, I was going to complain about how much of a fucking pussy I thought he was for not using the word fucked.

    For that Tristan, I am dearly sorry. People are uni are fucking pathetic. They DO complain about unimportant shit, and they should all fuck up and die.
    Unfortunately, they seem to last longer then the rest of us. I think i’ll complain to god for that one.

  19. Naly D says:

    A. Yes, my job does require me to sit in front of the computer all day with a specific focus on the media industry.
    B. Facebook sells off personal information, no way will I sign up!
    C. I’m in no way a fundamentalist, or a conservative. But I do think we should be considerate of those who are.

    Fair enough, so what is your opinion on the ‘Jesus is a cunt’ t-shirts? Because I know some pretty liberal, anti-church individuals who are offended by it. Good move to ban them, or an infringement on free speech? (Asking for your actual opinion here, not trying to be a smart-ass)

    Just because I ‘complain’ about it doesn’t mean I think it isn’t funny that people did actually complain. I never said I was offended by it. Perhaps if you guys re-read my first comment you might now pick up the tounge-in-cheek humour firmly imprinted in it.
    If not, here; Swear words in ads = Toyota. No-choice ads = Propoganda circa WWII. Porn on free tv = Prime. Pretty much everything I said in either of my posts has been contradicted by the Broadcasting Standards Authority on many, many occasions.
    Apologies for not explaining myself clearly.

  20. Jesus is a cunt.

  21. pen-15 says:

    OMG PARENTS OOOOOHHHHHH, as if a mature man/woman hasn’t sworn, stop being so PC you fuckhole, p.s. I fucked your mum

  22. Michael Oliver says:

    “Jesus is a Good Cunt” t-shirt featuring Christ wearing stubbies, drinking with “the boys” and winning month’s supply of pork rinds for coming third in burping contest put on hold due to unfortunate Cannibal Corpse-related marketing mishap. Sadness amongst Tui clothing-wearing community at all time high. Story developing…

  23. Naly D,

    a) dont bring your kids to campus. But if really MUST – stick em in the law school creche. (if that still exists). University isnt the place for small children anyway… why would a Mature student bring thier kid to class in the first place? To sit in lectures? To cry in the Library? Your example is pretty absurd.

    b) If you parents saw at it and blanched, then they also, need a chill pill. But hey, some apples don’t fall too far from trees i suppose.

  24. Jackson Wood says:

    I am not offended by the word cunt. I use it often. I tend not to use it in connection with religious icons, but I see no reason why religious personalities who lived 2000 or so years ago should be any less open to it being used alongside their name than anyone else. Once again, I can’t help but suggest that people should be thinking about why they are offended rather than just being offended.

    If people believed in their faith why would this be an affront to them? Jesus was (in their reckoning) ‘the son of god’ not female genitalia. The phrase means nothing.

    “Sticks and stones” and all that. Words are just words, and these words do not incite hatred, they don’t urge you to go out and hurt people, well at least not in this context. The word ‘Jesus’ has been used to urge people on to commit all sorts of foul acts (as well as some good ones).

    So to restate in simple terms: I have no problem with the shirt in that it is free speech, and it is not hate speech, and that if you are wearing it for a reason you could even be making a point. What I do no support is people wearing it for the sake of offending people, which – in my internet based research about the shirts – has turned out to be the case.

    So banning them wholesale is not the answer, but one wonders about the merits of the claim this this is free speech.

    I do not think this can be compared to Tristan using the word FUCK in a poster advertising why there were no Salient’s on Monday.

  25. Naly D says:

    I do not have any children, but my example is from experience. As a student my father could not afford kindergarten/creche fees so I would often have to sit in his lectures.

    I was not comparing the banning of the shirt with the sign, was just interested in your views on the issue and the Chief Consors Office.

    Please don’t forget to get a sexual health checkup.

  26. pen-15 says:

    For someone who attended university at such a young age, I would assume they would be far more relaxed about life, rather than having several large objects stuck up their ass. And also, yea i got warts from your mum, but I do it for the ladies man, for the ladies.

  27. Chiming in with Jackson here – people have every right to wear t-shirts saying ‘Jesus is a cunt’ (not that we should really be giving Joel any more ideas…). I’m well aware that plenty of people would find it offensive – in fact, I would be one of them – but at the end of the day it says more about the wearer than Western theology.

    As for Tristan’s colorful hoardings – I find replacing the ‘U’ with a smiley face or heart goes a surprisingly long way in disarming our moral guardians.

  28. Jackson Wood says:

    The Chief Censor is an alright guy. I’ve met him once or twice thru uni and he’s nice, analytical and intelligent. I believe whatever decision he comes to in the end will have sound judgement based on the law of NZ and the parameters of the regulations that he has to work within.

    I (heart) Jesus’ C:-)NT?

  29. Irma says:

    Well, while I won’t say I get particularly offended by it, I don’t enjoy seeing profanity all around the place, and try to limit my use of it to when it really is necessary and appropriate (and there is only one situation in which I think the c-word is appropriate).
    However, I am a bit more incensed about the waste of resources in producing a whole ‘nother run of salient because the pages are out of order. Do they make for more intelligent reading in the proper order? Could you not have negotiated for the next week’s print run to be free (or a refund?)

  30. Michael Oliver says:

    I guarantee you the sports column was just as incoherent and mindless as it normally is, Irma.

    Interestingly enough, if you print this week’s copy of Salient backwards and read it through a mirror, it says Jackson is dead.

  31. Lesbian says:

    I love going everywhere NAKED!!!

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