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July 7, 2008 | by  | in Opinion | [ssba]

Uther’s Top 5s – Top Five Things This Generation is Leaving The Next

– Unnecessary Apathy
– Illogical Hope
– Smug Post-modernism
– Regressive Post-feminism
– At least two internets worth of porn

Top Five Back Handed Compliments
– ‘You smell like my dog.’
– ‘That was kinda funny.’
– ‘You’re pretty smart – for a guy.’
– ‘It’s good that you acknowledge your flaws.’
– ‘I could spend the rest of my life with you. Could.’

Top Five High Concept Movie Pitches
– Tarantino meets ‘The Joy Luck Club’
– ‘Hostel’ meets ‘The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants’
– David Lynch meets Judd Apatow
– ‘Rocky II’ meets ‘Rocky IV’
– ‘Young People Fucking’

Top Five Contrived Plot Twists
– The Butler Did It
– He was dead all along.
– He’s a she.
– It was the whales!
– They all lived happily ever after.

Top Five


About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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