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September 1, 2008 | by  | in Online Only | [ssba]

Wave Goodbye

A pal of mine just sent me through a picture of National’s new Billboard with the comment “boring and bland”. Which I see The Standard has already blogged about (damn you, technical difficulties with uploading images or I would’ve been the first!)




To me this billboard is a step above those that we saw last election campaign because it only manages to boil down the policies of one party into a vague statement of intent. In fact the calming blue planes remind me of tropical holidays and almost urge me to hope on a plane to get the hell out of this country before National have a chance to fuck it up any more than they already have.

The fast-forward sign next to their new catch phrase is interesting. Why is it there? What is it doing? Are you going to see another avalanche of neo-liberal reforms pushed through at a fast forwarded pace? Is it some metaphor? I really don’t know what it means. Could someone tell me. Can I push it, and will another ad spring up onto the billboard, maybe one for penile enhancement?

The planes in the background are so totalitarian. It reminds me of the videos on the telescreens in the 1984 movie dropping bombs on Eurasia, or is it Eastasia? One almost expects John Key’s calming face to dissolve through the ranks of planes to grant us a reassuring word: “It’ll be alright New Zealand, she’ll be alright.”

The catchphrase made me giggle a lot. I went to an ACT meeting earlier in the year, just after they wheeled Roger Douglas out of retirement. I saw Heather Roy talk about keeping our loved ones here in New Zealand. So I guess the irony in their choice of statement: “Choose a brighter future”, is that National has chosen a bighter party to steal their ideas from (in that ACT’s colours include a lovely bright aquamarine colour). It is also perturbing me that “brighter” is in bold. What sort of waffly term is brighter? Are National going to play with New Zealand’s contrast control or something? Ban us from wearing sunglasses and increase reflective surfaces?

Hopefully the planes (notice how they’re flying to the right… by the way, and all look the same) represent all the people who will be leaving the country if the Nats get into power. I know I’ll be on one of them. Waving goodbye to my much loved hard earned dollars when the price of living, health care, road tolls, and food goes through the roof when these suckers get in. Waving goodbye to the poor people who will be placed under further burdon by an unfair tax system. Waving goodbye, as I step on a plane, only to return to New Zealand when there is no longer a National government.


About the Author ()

The editor of this fine rag for 2009.

Comments (21)

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  1. Shitkicker McGee says:

    This makes me want to join the police. Subliminal advertising? I think SO

  2. peteremcc says:

    It’s alright, but not great.
    Like you said, the best part is the message – and that’s cos they stole it from ACT.

    Here’s my version of the billboard:

  3. Leemur says:

    Ok so who ever designed this votes Labour.

    The arrows at the bottom pointing in the same direction as the planes getting outta here while saying “Choose a brighter future” is pretty hilarious.

    The whole things make me want to get on a plane and listen to Lazy Sunday or something…

    Guts for National.

    Why don’t they go back to KIWI vs IWI….It might have been blatantly racist but at least it didn’t make you want to get on a plane and listen to ocean sounds.

  4. Mana Maori Man says:

    For some reason I just received an email from Hekia Parata, the National candidate for Mana. Here is what she says the billboard is about: “taxation and migration”. No shit.

    “National will build on Labour’s planned October tax cuts.” Well we already knew this, how about another policy instead of shouting TAX CUTS till you’re blue in the face.

    She then goes on to say “The billboard also highlights Labour’s failure to stem the tide of people voting with their feet and leaving New Zealand. The figures are sky-high. Recent statistics show that more people than ever are leaving.”
    This statistic was debunked in the House just last week by Helen Clark, who pointed out that immigration from New Zealand reached its apogee 9 years previously under a Shipley lead National government.

    Isn’t this campaign just playing some stupid emotional nationalistic draw card? These people made a decision to move away from New Zealand, probably for more reasons that our tax rate. Undoubtedly they will also return to New Zealand, just like Mr. Key did after his overseas adventure. SO why are we questioning their rational free will? I think that it is s stupid xenophobic campaign that they’re running. Don’t live in the rest of the world, it is shit, come back to New Zealand so we don’t have to let as many foreigners in. Come off it National, get some fucking policy, grow up and realise that this is a big world and people will come and go as they please.

  5. Trig Palin says:

    Nobody ever points out how many people come back to New Zealand after their holidays.

    Maybe if they focused on new technology to provide more sunny days in NZ less people would go to Australia.

    Australia is warmer. Warmer ok?

  6. Nick Archer says:

    Bit creepy, subliminally it comes across as quite sinister, as the way the planes are swarming and angled like bombers…

    Are those B-52s (does National want to rebuild the Air Force or something) or are they 767s flying across to Australia.

    I actually preferred those reactionary and emotively misinformed ones they had last time (iwi/kiwi), as they were cynical (but at least a bit easier to read) this one just creeps me out as you have no idea what it REALLY means (as it makes you feel uneasy in the belly)…

    I am not going anywhere as I don’t base my life around who is in power in a democratic country such as New Zealand, if I did I would have left by now (Helen, Alamein Kopu, etc…) As it will just be the same as the late 90s (not very strong government when they run out of their initial steam).

    I think the concern for me is that National seems to have no strong policies like they did in 1990, I mean they were tough but everyone knew what they were in for, no one was left any illusions to what Ruth Richardson would mean as she was pretty up front and honest about what she intended to do (she didn’t need clever subliminals to get her agenda through), but this current National Party is sleep walking itself to an election victory at least in 2005 they were a bit more concrete and bold (now they are ‘me too’ in terms of policy and have been out manovuered by Labour with their tax cuts).

    I liken the current National party to be like the one in 2002 and 1987 i.e. drifting with no real teeth (bold policies) BUt with the difference that they just happen to be in the right place in the electoral cycle and that hasn’t happened in New Zealand for a while, (i.e. 75, 84, 90 and 99 were about concrete and bold plans/policies and general feel to it even though there were some dodgy and or cynical campaign messages like dancing cossacks, Muldoon’s melt down over Marilyn Waring, Bolger’s Decent Society and Helen’s pledge card).

    At least in 2005 the National campaign felt cohesive with quite an aggressive and bold direction in contrast to this year (where are the things like the Tax Calculator?), even though there was some duplicity going on (The Hollow Men), it seems that National is resorting to some creepy fear based politics that don’t feel like they are fear based, hence your comparison to Orwell’s 1984 Jackson seems spot on there…

  7. Shitkicker says:

    Petermcc – If good parenting is smacking, can I beat the crap out of you? Please?

  8. Michael Oliver says:

    Here’s my version of the billboard:

    cutting edge political satire right here.

  9. Cindy McCain says:

    I can’t wait to have kids so I can become an ACT supporter and beat the crap out of them.

  10. Shitkicker McGee says:

    PS. Hey ACT, it was Sue Bradford’s bill. You dropkicks.

  11. Jackson Wood says:

    Here are some of the other billboards that National will be placing around our towns soon:

  12. blogette says:

    “Waving goodbye to my much loved hard earned dollars when the price of living, health care, road tolls, and food goes through the roof when these suckers get in.”

    you really are a buffoon aren’t you Jackson?

  13. Jackson Wood says:

    Pretty much blogette, pretty much.

  14. blog says:

    The price of living and food have already gone ‘through the roof’ with the current Labour-led government. And Labour is introducing road tolls. You’re a dick Jackson.

  15. The most orginal orignal says:

    Blog isn’t a very original name is it? You should change your name to John Key’s butt-boy.

    The price of food and living has hardly gone through the roof. Get some perspective.

  16. Tania Mead says:

    Gosh, blogette, You really do your succinct and scathing review of our current financial distuation a disservice by finishing up with “You’re a dick”. Oh, wait. You didn’t actually say anything meaningful. Sweet. I’ll remember in the future that your primary goal is just to insult people with a political perspective that differs from yours.

  17. Tania Mead says:

    Gosh, blog/ette, You really do your succinct and scathing review of our current financial distuation a disservice by finishing up with “You’re a dick”. Oh, wait. You didn’t actually say anything meaningful. Sweet. I’ll remember in the future that your primary goal is just to insult people with a political perspective that differs from yours.

  18. Felicia Jollygoodfellow says:

    Don’t vote. Labour = ‘Tweedle Dumb’, a bunch of center-right arseholes who only want to please the rich. National (with that parasitic tick of ACT, the Association of Crooks and Thieves on their back) = ‘Tweedle Dumber’ = a bunch of further-right arseholes who only want to please the rich.

  19. Michael Oliver says:

    Oh wow, so you’re saying that these politicians are raging douchebags? Is there a blog I can subscribe to that reiterates these feelings in clever photoshopped format? They’re the only way I can reconcile my ideological perspective on our world and the world around us.

    With the obvious exception of John Keys, who defies such banal analysis, even in death.

  20. Superior Mind says:

    Hey Nick, rebuilding the Armed forces isn’t a bad idea y’know. Have you seen this?

    I don’t mind the whole communist-type imagery the Nat’s billboards use, I kind of like that but only if they use Soviet-style fonts and language.
    Or bad Yakov Smirnoff jokes.

  21. the boss says:

    These new billboards from national are a huge move in the right direction.

    I really like them. They are fresh and new looking.

    To the point and honest.

    Hate to say it but you all going to be very disappointed when you see labours. Trust me.

    By the way i don’t vote.

    Signed the boss.

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