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May 3, 2010 | by  | in News | [ssba]

LOL news

Australia’s Homeless Ride the Pineapple Express

More than 800,000 mislabelled cans of Golden Circle pineapple were donated to Australia’s Foodbank last week.

US Heinz, who own Golden Circle, were ordered to dispose of the cans by Australian Competition and Consumer Commission because they were incorrectly labelled “proudly Australian owned”.

Foodbank Chief Executive John Webster was extremely pleased with the donation, which he said would be put to good use.

“This is just magic product … if you think of any number of meals where you can use pineapple—it can be used in any of the three meals of the day and of course it’s shelf-stable.”

The fruit would be distributed by Foodbank to charities and shelters, where Hawaiian pizza is likely to be on the menu for a while.

Haggis Believed to be a Highland Creature

A haggis on the plate is worth two in the bush

According to a recent survey, one in five British think that haggis is an animal found in the Highlands.

The survey, run last week by, questioned participants about haggis, the traditional Scottish dish made from sheep’s lung, liver and heart.

Even 14 per cent of Scottish participants did not know what haggis was.

Other suggestions included a Scottish musical instrument and a character from Harry Potter.

Daughters Left Only $1.50 in Will

Mother gets revenge for years of shoddy Mother’s Day gifts

Three Australian women were shocked recently when they received just $1.50 each from the estate of their multi-millionaire mother.

Former Adelaide mayoress Valmai Roche left each of her three daughters 30 five cent pieces of her $3.5 million estate because she believed they plotted to kill her mother.

The will stipulated that the daughters and Roche’s ex-husband would be left exactly “30 pieces of silver of the lowest denomination of currency”. 

Apart from some jewellery and furniture also left to the daughters, the rest of Roche’s estate went to the Knights of the Southern Cross, a Catholic charity.

Two of Roche’s daughters are challenging the will on the basis that their mother was delusional.

Wife Supplies Husband with Nasty Surprise

US man doesn’t like surprisesSURPRISE!

An American man was hit in the head with a hammer after his wife blindfolded him and promised him a surprise.

The man fortunately suffered only minor injuries following the blow from wife Amy Teresa Ricks.

Ricks was recently sentenced to 30 days at home with an ankle monitor.

Penis Enlargement a No-No for Police

Is that a baton in your pocket…?

Young men who have had a penis enlargement will be barred from joining Indonesia’s Papua police force, Papua police chief Bekto Suprapto said recently.

“[He] will be asked whether or not his vital organ has been enlarged… If he has, he will be considered unfit to join the police or the military.”

The ban was introduced because the body modification was said to hinder training.

Papuan penis enlargement is achieved through the application of leaves from the “gatal-gatal” (itchy) tree, which cause the penis to swell up.


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